The Magic Castle
by Fasie
Summary: This is just a random collection of randomness written by Fasie and Crackerfang. You'll never know whats going to come out of the Magic Castle...Perhaps it would be best if you didn't find out.
1. Adventures in a Clostet

**Both of us: **Hoorah! A random crack fic, brought to you by Fasie (who hasn't written anything since her awful Animal Crossing fanfic) and Crackerfang (who has already written one awful Black Cat fanfic)...

**Fasie: **What a horrible introduction...Anyways, Thanks in advance for reading! If you get through it without forming an angry mob to come after me because I wrote a SvenxCreed fanfic, then I congradulate you. Without further ado, I bring you...Chapter One: Adventures in a Closet.

Maybe I should let Cracker say something...Crackerfang?

**Crackerfang: **Its not much of a SvenxCreed fanfic, though... Probably because Fas forced me to help her and I find that to be a ridiculous couple. -shrug- Anyway, I'm gonna write the disclaimer, since this isn't even my chapter.

**Disclaimer: **We do not own Black Cat. If we did... well... There would be some odd couples. And 20 volumes of TrainxSven smex... hehe.

**Fasie:** Thank you...cracker...In my mind, Creed and Sven are the BEST COUPLE EVER! And she didn't help me that much, only told me every word to write...(Actually, it was just a few sentences.)

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Chapter One: Adventures in a Clostet

Once upon a time in a magical kingdom in a far away land...

"CREEDY-BOY! I'm home!"

Creed ran to the closet and shut the door. _Oh please, don't let it be Sven. Don't let it be Sven..._

"Sir, you're squishing me. Get out of my room!"

Creed felt a nudge in his stomach and screamed a girlish scream. He reached up to the pull string and turned on the light. He saw Train, in a maid outfit, staring at him with innocent eyes. "What are you doing in here?"

"Creed I'm real pissed off that you would lie to me!"

Puzzled, Creed stared at Train. "Wha?"

Train did that snappy thing that angry women do. "I'm kicking your ass out the door!" Train opened the closet door and shoved Creed out, ignoring his kicks and screams and yells of "NO HE'LL FIND ME!"

The door shut leaving Creed in the hallway, looking frantically for a place to hide before Sven found him.

"Who'll find you, dearie?" The 'phsyco' music play and he smiled down at Creed. Sven opened the door to the closet to put his coat away and saw Train sitting inthe corner.

Train looked at Sven and smiled. "Got Milk?"

Creed jumped into the closet again, and shut the door, hoping Sven wouldn't notice. He sat against the wall breathing heavily. He looked around suspiciously,then said to Train. "I am...COMMANDO CREED!"

"I cannot see you."

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away...

Sven looked around, wondering where Creed went. For some reason he did not see him run into the closet.

-Back in the closet-

Train poked Creed. "Creed, I think I'm pregant. And Sven's the father."

Creed slapped Train and said with a foreign accent "You bitch!"

"Stay golden, ponyboy."

Thoroughly confused, Creed backed out of the closet and ran into Sven, who scooped him up and hugged the stuffings out of him. Creed's head lay on the ground at his feet, with plushie fluff laying around him. Sven continued to hug the lifeless body of Creed, squeezing more fluffing out of him.

Just then, Train came out of the closet. "Everyone, I'm gay."

Meanwhile thousands of miles away...

Creed woke up and held his hand to his head. "Man, that was the weirdest dream I ever had..."

"CREEDY-BOY, DADDY'S HOME!"

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1. Cracker has a cat named Bob, who cant really hear anything. He always sits in the food box as if no one can see him. We love to make fun of him, saying "I am COMMANDO KITTY! You can't see me!" when he is in plain sight.

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-hides from angry mob- Well thanks for reading! Cracker will be writing the next chapter! This is Fasie, and Im out!


	2. Monty Horror Picture Show

**Fasie: **Hey guys! Thanks for reading the last chapter. I now bring you CHAPTER TWO: The Monty Horror Picture Show, featuring a cameo appearance by Jack Sparrow.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Black Cat, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Monty Python, or Jack Sparrow. But if I did, Black Cat would have more Creed and Sven, TRHPS would be shown to every kid at the ages of 2, 5, and 7, Monty Python will be on TV every Tuesday and Thursday from 4 am to 6 pm, no commercials, and Jack Sparrow would be my slave.

**Fasie:** Since I'm not at Cracker's house, nor is she here, there will not be a word from Cracker. I SWEAR that bomb had nothing to do with it…

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"It's an African Sparrow, Sven, I'm telling you!"

"No, no, Creed," Sven muttered, shaking his head. "It's an English sparrow, you can tell by the way its pecking at its food."

"No, Sven, I'm TELING you, it's NOT an English Sparrow."

Sven tilted his head and squinted. "Maybe it's a Jack Sparrow?"

Creed shook his head and crossed his arms. "Where's the rum?"

"You see how its walking? It drank it all-"

"African."

"English."

"What?!" Creed looked at Sven. "Make up your mind. English or Jack?"

Sven turned to him and smiled. "Kiss me you fool!" He smooched Creed on the nose. Then again. And again. And again.

Creed stepped away and wiped his nose off. "You could have at least waited until we finished the argument."

"Isn't it just easier to skip the argument and get right to the make-up sex?"

Creed giggled. "I guess you're right." He grabbed Sven's hand started skipping home.

"Uh, Creed. You aren't going the right way."

Creed stopped skipping.

Sven leaned in and whispered in his ear. "You must follow the yellow brick road! Follow the yellow brick road!"

Creed gave Sven a funny look and shook his head. "No, no. The sparrow told us to follow the signs saying 'Sven and Creeds Castle'."

"Damn Sparrow," Sven muttered.

Creed hit his head. "Not this again! Like I've been telling you! It's an AFRICAN sparrow, not an English, or a jack, or a damn!"

Sven hit Creed in the head. "DAMMIT JANET! I love you." He pulled out a sparkly, revealing outfit and some ridiculous high-heels and put them on Creed. He lowered his voice and giggled, hugging Creed and cutting off his air supply. "NOW we can follow those signs that are sure to lead us to a castle where there is sure to be a cross-dressing transvestite with a funny accent that is sure to make our honeymoon horribly horrible."

Sven dragged Creed off to the Castle. Once there, he ran upstairs to the master bedroom and gasped when he saw Charden lying on the bed in nothing but saran wrap and a pair of black stilettos. He dropped Creed on the floor.

Charden traced little swirls on the bed sheets and started to sing. "Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me, I wanna be dirty! Chill me, thrill me, fulfill me, creature of the night!"

Sven backed out of the room quickly, leaving Creed unconscious on the floor.

Train giggled and crawled out from under the bed. He locked the door and then went to the bed with Charden. Neither of them noticed Creed on the floor. (For he is…COMMANDO CREED. We cannot see him.)

Charden pulled train close to him. "Now that they're gone…" he said, in a lustful voice. He reached under the bed and grabbed a box and threw open the lid. "MONOPOLY TIME!"

"I wanna be the horsey!" Train giggled.

"Oh, of coursey."

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**Fasie:** Hey, hey! Thanks for reading! I had fun writing this. I think it's obvious where my inspiration came from. My parents were watching Monty Python, Rocky, AND Pirates. I hope you enjoyed this completely!

Please review! I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!


	3. Black Cat and the Abridged Series

**Both: **Yup, we is back with chapter 3!

**Crackerfang:** This is my chapter now... hopefully it won't suck too bad. Fas gets to write the disclaimer this time.

**Fasie:** What Cracker doesn't know, is that I have hidden a bomb in her lunch. After she eats and is blown to smitehreens, I will be writing every word for now on! MUWAHAHAHA!

**DISCLAIMER!**

We don't own Black Cat, but if we did, we'd be richer than Bill Gates! Or much poorer than him...

**More Disclaimers: **Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series belongs to Little Kuriboh.

Yu-Gi-Oh belongs to Kazuki Takahashi.

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Chapter 3: Black Cat and the Abridged Series

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Somewhere in the world...

Rinslet randomly ran up to Train, giving him a very serious look. "Train! I think I'm pregnant! And Jenos is the father!"

---

Somewhere else in the world...

Creed and Sven were on the phone.

"Sven! Don't leave me!" Creed yelled through the phone.

"I'm sorry Creed, but its just not working out between us." Sven said.

Creed sobbed. "But I love you!

---

Again, somewhere else.

Rinslet ran up to Train, AGAIN, with a serious look on her face. "Train! I think I'm pregnant! And Charden is the father!"

---

Later...

Eve stared angrily at Sven. "Sven! So your the one who shot Xiao Li!"

"Yes, it was I!" Sven yelled.

---

Rinslet one again, ran up to Train with a serious look. "Train! I think I'm pregnant! And Shiki is the--"

"No fing way." Train said.

"Okay, I lied about that one..."

---

"This time, Train, you don't stand... a ghost of a chance." Creed said, pointing his Kotetsu at Train.

---

Another later!

"Train..." Sven walked up to Train with a serious look on his face. "I think I'm pregnant. And your the father!"

---

Ahem, and that ends the chapter. I had no other ideas. Cracker apologizes. -nods-

By the way, if you haven't seen the Abridged series... WATCH IT NOW!


	4. Tidbit Skits

**Fasie: **Today I bring you Chapter 4: Short Skits. Below is a collection of three incredibly random pieces not big enough to be a whole chapter. Cracker and I came up with these while we went to Chinatown and were stuck in a car for four hours. In the future, I will be presenting to you a Wizard of Oz story, while Cracker will be writing for you an Alice in Wonderland. But, while you wait, please enjoy these random skits!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Black Cat, or anything else I might get sued for.

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Sven paced back and forth in front of the fire place. Where in the world was Creed? He was due back hours ago. He stopped pacing and was about to go hunt him down when Creed walked in the door.

He took a deep breath and began to yell, a desperate housewife tone to his voice. "Creed! I stay home slaving over a hot stove all day to make you a decent meal. All I expect of you is to come home in time to eat it! How am I supposed to be a good wife if I can't even have a good husband? Where were you that was more important at the kitchen table? What were you doing that was so important that you had to keep me waiting for hours, worrying my little heart to nothing!"

Creed ran his hand through his hair and leaned against the wall in a cool pose. "I was chillin' at the Holiday Inn."

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Creed rolled over on the bed and turned the bedside light off, then curled up with Sven. He wrapped his arm around him and pulled him close, hugging him even closer as he exhaled. Sven nuzzled his nose into Creed's chest, then frowned.

"Creed?"

"Yeah?"

"You smell like cheese."

"I know."

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"Hey Train," Creed said, tapping Train on the shoulder.

Train didn't respond but instead fell over onto the ground. He didn't move.

Creed looked around quickly, and then poked Train. "Crap," he muttered, poking Train again.

Sven came up behind Creed and looked over his shoulder to Train lying on the ground. "Great. You killed our maid, Creed. Now who are we going to get to clean our litter boxes?"

Creed's lower lip began to tremble. How could he have killed Train? He was just fine a little while ago. He was so young…

"Ah well," Sven shrugged, interrupting Creed's thoughts. "At least now I don't have to grocery shop."

Creed nodded, but looked at Train with his head tilted. "We're going to need a bigger pot."

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**Fasie:** Thanks again for reading!! These skits were so much funner to come up with than to write, even though I had a lot of laughs writing it! Please review!

And keep a watch out for Alice in Wonderland, and the Wizard of Oz!


	5. The Cornfield

Crackerfang: Yay, a second chapter from me, and this time it isn't a copy off of something I saw on Youtube. And guess what! This will be the most detailed and the longest chapter we have so far! Hooray! (Truth is, I'm just not as good with randomness as Fasie…)

Disclaimer: I don't own Black Cat  
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Chapter 5: The Cornfield  
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"CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!" Sven yelled. The poor old man was freezing his wenis off. "Have you seen my clothes!?" He had woken up this morning with nothing on but a pair of boxers. The weird thing was, he didn't remember taking his clothes off.

"Nooooooooooo I haven't!" Creed called back from some other part of the castle. Sven could barely hear him.

With an angry sigh, Sven walked over to the closet. He opened the door, and sadly tripped over Creed's Teletubbie plushie (Lala). He sat up rubbing his nose, since he had fallen onto his face, and looked at the object in front of him. A cauldron. And standing behind the cauldron was Train, and he was mixing whatever was inside the big pot. And he was in his boxers.

Train hissed, and closed the door, which caused Sven to be moved farther inside the never ending closet. "The light burns…" he said.

Sven ignored Train's random comment, since he was used to them, and stood up. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Makin' lunch," Train said.

The old man looked into the caldron, wondering what the heck Train could possibly be making. Inside he saw boiling yellow water, and some clothes. He glared at Train. "SO IT WAS YOU WHO TOOK THEM!" he yelled, slapping his maid.

"Took what?" Train asked, tilting his head. "Oh, you mean the ramen flavour packets? Yeah, I had no other way to get the chicken flavour."

Sven's eye twitched. "No! Not that, I mean my clothes!"

Train blinked. "Oh, those. Sorry, I'd use my own, but they are all in the laundry room, which is seven closets that way." He said, pointing to the door at the end of the closet.

---

Creed walked into the master bedroom, looking around. He was sure this is where he heard Sven call him from. He called out, stealing Train's nickname for the older man. "Svenny-baby?"

He made his way to the closet, which could move by the way, and peeked in. What he saw consisted of Sven lying over Train and being hit over the head with an oversized spoon.

_'I wish Sven would hit me like that…' _he thought, then looked at the scene again. "Wait a sec…" he said to himself, and then opened the door all the way. "WHAT IN THE FUDGE BUNNIES IS GOING ON IN HERE!!!?"

" Makin' babies… I mean lunch." Train said.

Sven gave Train a confused look that Creed couldn't see. "There's a difference?"

Creed screamed, which was either a cry of fury, or just him crying in general. It was really hard to tell the difference. He must have been crying, because tears spilled from his eyes. "SVEN! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME! That's it! I'm sending both of you to the cornfield!" he said.

---

The next thing Sven and Train knew, they were in a cornfield.

Train cried out, looking sadly at his hand. "My spoon is gone!"

Sven just glared at Train, and got up. He didn't quite like lying over Train. Though, when he got up Train cried out again.

"Now I'm cold!"

The green haired man just shook his head, and looked around. "Okay, so we are in a cornfield. What do we do now?"

Train stood up as well, and shivered. "Find blankets?"

"You're useless." Sven said, and turned away. He looked up at the rolling clouds. The sky was bright and the sun hurt his eyes. Sadly, he failed to notice that there wasn't actually a sun there.

Train got back onto the ground, randomly crawling between Sven's legs, then standing up in front of him. "So what do you suggest we do?"

Sven blinked, and moved his head so that Train's hair was no longer in his face. "Lets walk!" he pushed Train.

---

Creed sighed, resting his head on his palm. He was sitting on his bright pink chair in his favorite bright pink room, while a girl sat on the floor crying.

"PLEASE DON'T HURT ME, OH PLEASE!" Rinslet cried, bowing to Creed. "I didn't mean to drop your toothbrush on the floor!!!!"

Creed suddenly sat up straight, staring at the girl with big eyes. "YOU DROPPED MY TOOTHBRUSH ON THE FLOOR!? TO THE CORNFIELD!" He yelled, and a second later, Rinslet was no where in sight.

Again, Creed rested his head on his palm. "NEXT!"

---

"_Whats the cutest thing in the world?_"

"..." Train glanced at Sven.

"_Train in the cooorn, Train in the corn!_"

"Sven..."

"_Soft and silky, drinkin' milky!_"

Train growled. "...will you,"

"_Train in the cooorn, Train in the corn!"_

"...please..."

"_Purry, purry, soft and furry!"_

Train growled again. "...just..."

"_Train in the cooorn, Train in the corn!_"

"SHUT UP!"

Sven blinked, and did as he was told. The pair continued walking in silence.

---

"No, no, no, just... no. Thats AWFUL!"

From his big pink chair, Creed scolded Charden.

"Those stilettos don't match that outfit at all!!!"

Charden sniffled, tears dripping down his face. "M-my other ones got dirty..."

"IDONTCARE! Thats it! To the... YELLOW WALL with you!" Creed pointed at the only wall in the room that was not bright pink.

Charden gasped. "No, no... anything but that, please, don't make me go to the yellow wall! Thats even WORSE than the cornfield!"

"To. The. Yellow. Wall. NOW."

Scared, Charden walked to the yellow wall, and continued to sniffle.

---

"HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY!"

"Dude, its a fairy." Sven said, poking at the annoying creature infront of him.

"I do believe in fairies! I do! I do!" Train giggled. He was now on Sven's back, for he had become lazy and didn't want to walk anymore. How he had managed to get Sven to agree, he'd never know.

Then he looked at himself. _'Oh... right...'_ He was even colder without his boxers on...

"HEY! LISTEN!"

"This thing is really annoying."

Train nodded in agreement. "Oh well. Maybe it can show us the way out."

Sven said nothing.

"Hey, little fairy! Can you show us how to get out of here?"

No response.

Train blinked. "No...?" he looked around. "Sven, what happened to the fairy?"

Sven was quiet for a moment. "... It was magically delicious."

---

END.

Squee. I'm hungry.

Hey, I forgot to say: A wenis is your elbow.


	6. Its too tight

**Fasie:** Man, aren't you guys tired of reading this yet? Hope not, Cracker and I are having too much fun writing all of this for you! This next chapter is going to be a bit of a misunderstanding.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Black Cat. If I was a millionaire, I'd buy Black Cat so I WOULD own it, so I wouldn't have to keep writing these disclaimers.

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Chapter 6: It's Too Tight

Charden giggled as he walked down the hallway, the sound of his new stilettos tapping on the floor always made him giggle. (So did anything and everything else…) He was looking for Sven and Creed to tell them that he needed a bigger closest because his all of his shoes were taking up too much space. Train said that they were in the master bedroom.

As he tapped up to their door and reached up to knock, he stopped; his eyes wide. He had he overheard Sven and Creed, and was too horrified to do anything but eavesdrop further.

"It's too tight," Sven said in a high pitched tone that mentioned that he might be in pain.

Creed giggled. "Nonsense, it fits just fine."

Sven grunted. "Say that when YOU are trying to squeeze into it." He moaned.

"Next time, Svenny-boy, next time."

Charden put leaned against the door and turned his head to the side, pressing his ear against the wood.

"Can't you loosen it up at all?" Sven squeaked.

Creed made a low humming sound, almost like an amused purr, more suitable for a cat. A BLACK Cat. (Okay, bad joke, but I laughed. Man, way to kill a mood…)

"Just tug around a bit. You might have to pull pretty hard to get it loose," Creed cheerily.

Whatever they were doing, they sounded like they were having fun. Charden shuddered, but was couldn't leave. He just HAD to know what they were doing.

"Okay," Sven said, unsure. "I'll pull, but you'll have to hold it."

"We've done this a million times, Sven. You'd think you'd be used to it by now."

Sven made a gurgling noise. "Yeah, but never in the middle of the afternoon."

"Stop complaining. Just hush up and finish." Creed chuckled. "Oh…Fantastic, just tug a little harder…That's good. Just one more hard pull, on three."

"One,"

"Two,"

"Three!" They said together.

"UUHG!" Sven grunted again. He breathed heavily for a bit, loud enough for Charden to hear through the door.

Creed made another amused purring noise and Sven made an "Mmhm" noise.

"That should do it," Creed said.

"I feel so much better now." Sven took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Charden was frozen against the door, too stunned to move. Did they just…? They shared the same bedroom, but did they really? No, they couldn't have. But it sure did sound like it…

Just then the door opened, Charden jumped and fell backwards, landing on the floor and looking up at Creed and Sven.

"Hi, Charden," Sven said, batting his eyelashes. He was wearing a very frilly dress, a wig that belonged back in the 1800s, and a corset. Creed stood next to him in a tuxedo, and the shiniest black shoes anyone had ever seen.

Charden stared at the two, he couldn't seem to form words. "You, and…you, you two…Did you really? No, I don't want to think about it. But it sounded like…and…but now you two are…but…"

Creed sighed. "I suppose it's time we tell him. Charden, Sven and I are-"

Charden stood up and covered his ears, singing loudly (and badly I might add). "LALALA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!" He ran off down the hallway, still singing with his hands over his ears.

Creed looked confused, and then looked at Sven. "I was just going to tell him we've been sneaking out to costume parties every night this past week, and we were invited to one this afternoon."

Sven made small choking noises like he was about to start crying.

"Are you crying, Sven?"

"It's just that…That I can't breathe in this damn corset. It's too tight."

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**Fasie: **This chapter was absolutely the funniest thing I had ever had the privalidge to write. I was crackin' up writing this xD. Hope you liked it!


	7. Spin the Sven

**Fasie:** This started off as part of Tidbit Skits, Part Two, but it turned out longer than I had imagined. So Cracker and I decided to turn it into an actual chapter. She's just sitting here next to me making funny faces. I'm not letting her say anything.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Black Cat or Doctor's handy dandy rule book for all occasions.

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Chapter (7): Spin the Sven

"So, what do we play now, Charden? It _is_ your sleep over, after all," Sven said.

Charden giggled. "Let's play spin the bottle."

Train looked around for a bottle. "Charden, we don't have a bottle."

"Oh…"

Creed smiled and held back a giggle. "Let's play spin the Sven!"

Charden cheered, Sven objected, Train ate a mango, and Doctor got out his doctor's bag which held the handy dandy rule book for every situation.

Clearing his throat and opening the book, Doctor placed his hand on his face like he does all the time and began to read the rules for 'Spin the Sven'. "It says here that players must spin the Sven. Who ever he lands on must leave the room. Who ever is the last person standing gets a kiss from Sven." He closed the book, put it in his bag, and giggled a girlish giggle that was more suitable for Charden than him.

"Let's play!"

They all sat in a circle around Sven and Charden shouted "I wanna go first!" He spun Sven around; ignoring his shouts, hoping it would land on Doctor. Doctor didn't deserve a kiss from Sven. He landed on Charden.

Pouting, Charden left the room, but continued to watch through the window.

Train spun next. It landed on Doctor.

Creed and Train were the only ones left. Creed stared at Train. Train stared back.

"You're spin."

Creed spun Sven , hoping to high heavens that Sven would land on Train, send him out of the room, and leave him victorious with a kiss from Sven.

Time seemed to stop.

The suspense was building.

How could anyone stand it?

Creed bit his lower lip.

Train had his fingers crossed.

Sven stopped, pointing between Creed and Train.

In an instant, Creed was on Train, yelling that Sven was his. Train hit him with a random spoon.

"HE'S MINE!"

"TAKE THAT! THAT KISS IS MIIIINE!"

Hearing the fighting, Doctor came in to intervene the fight with his handy dandy rule book for every situation. He put his hand on his face and opened his mouth to speak. "When a- Hmghgfd…mmmm."

Sven had gotten up off the floor and jumped over the fighting pair and ran to Doctor. "DAMMIT JANET, I LOVE YOU!" He yelled, and then planted one on Doctor.

"You can have him, if you get to him first!" Train yelled.

"I will! Just you watch!" Creed yelled back.

They both got up off the floor to run to Sven but fell back onto the floor when they saw the other two kissing. Creed fell into Train's arms, and Train fell into Creed's. They both began to cry.

But no one noticed Charden staring through the window, the loneliest of them all…

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**Fasie:** This was originally Cracker's idea, but I put a plot to it and wrote it out. She just randomly yelled out "Spin the Sven!" one day xD. Welp, please review!


	8. Escape From

**Crackerfang: **Paaaain in the arm. I'm going to write this with an aching arm. Luckily I have part of it planned out already.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Black Cat.

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Chapter 8: Escape from Easy To Escape From Island

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"Sven, you whore!"

Creed threw his pencil and notepad on the floor, and glared at the other man.

Sven only blinked. "What did I do?"

"Don't act innocent! I saw you making out with Charden in the living room!" Creed yelled.

"What!?" Sven yelled back, glaring at Creed. "That never happened!"

Suddenly, Charden appeared and held his hand out toward Sven. "Hey, you left your lipgloss in the living room." he said, giving him the lipgloss, then running off. He giggled the whole time.

Creed opened his mouth to say more, but was interrupted by a new voice.

"Congratulations! You've just won a trip to 'Easy To Escape From Island'!"

Then Sven was hit in the face by a door.

Train jumped out of the closet. "Did someone say 'island'? I've always wanted to go to an island!" he said.

"The more, the merrier." said the voice from nowhere.

Charden came skipping back to everyone, still giggling. "Can I come too?"

"Sure." said the voice.

Then Doctor walked past them.

"And he is going too. Now I'll send you to Easy To Escape From Island." and with that, the voice sent the five people to a random island.

"Alright. Now that you are here, your goal is to get off the island, if you can. You'll be put into groups of two." the voice said.

Doctor blinked. "But there are five of us..."

"Then you work alone. Creed, Charden, your names both start with C, so you'll be working together. Train goes with Sven." The voice told them. "C group, go... left, and the other group... uh, just go some other direction."

"Okay!" All four said, and walked off. Doctor stared at the sand. "What do I do?"

"I don't care! Build a plane, or something... I'm going to go get some coffee..." the voice faded.

Doctor shrugged, and went to get wood.

---

"Man, I hate this. Why couldn't I have been paired with Sven?" Creed said with a sigh.

Charden tripped. "Ouch.. these stilettos are so hard to walk in! Especially now with all these twigs and dead birds lying all over the ground." he said, sitting up.

"Whatever." Creed continued onward, forgetting what the whole point of being on the island was. He was just too upset about Sven being paired with Train.

After getting up, Charden followed Creed, but tripped again, this time landing on a random red button that was placed on the ground.

Creed stopped, and looked upward. "Do you hear... chattering?" He turned his head to look at Charden, and never saw the giant monkey that jumped ontop of him. Soon, a whole bunch more monkeys were on him, beating him for no real reason.

Charden got up from falling, and watched for a minute. Then he turned and walked away.

---

Train and Sven hadn't walked very far, but both were now sitting along the shore, looking like they were both very tired. It was probably because they were both fat and out of shape.

Train sighed, drawing circles in the sand. "Sven, how are we gonna get off the island?"

"I don't know. I mean, all we have is this really awesome motor boat, this container with infinite amounts of fuel, and a cooler that will give us anything we want to eat or drink at any time..." Sven sighed as well, pulling out a sandwich from the cooler. "I think we are gonna be stuck here forever..."

Both were quiet for a long while.

"So... what do you think we should do?" Sven asked Train.

Train looked at him. "... Wanna make out?"

---

Charden walked until he made it to shore, and looked around. Nothing to see but water... and Sven and Train making out on a log.

He blinked. "Geez, Sven... your away from Creed for five minutes, and your already cheating on him?"

Sven moved his face away from Train's for only a second. "Yep." he said, and the two went at it again.

Charden shook his head, and walked off away from the two. He tripped again.

---

"Eureka! I've done it!" Doctor yelled, staring proudly at his work.

A very badly made sand castle.

"Ah, it took all this time, but I knew I could do it! And I even had time to make a simple plane, too!" he said, glancing at his less important work. "I don't know how useful a plane will be to get off the islane, though..."

Doctor looked back at his sandcastle, and inspected its beautifully deformed shape.

"You sir, are the biggest idiot in the world. USE THE PLANE TO FLY OFF THE ISLAND!" the voice from no where said, obviously back from his coffee.

Doctor pondered for a moment. "No, thats an awful idea. But I could always use the plane to fly off the island!" He danced at his wondered idea. "I'm gonna go find the others!"

He said that, but it seemed like the others came to him. First was Creed.

Creed ran into Doctor, bleeding and crying. When he reached the other guy, he sat on his knees and sobbed. Lucky for him, those monkeys didn't follow him out of the trees. "I'll never look at anything that even resembles a monkey ever again!"

He lied on the ground crying, while being poked at the same time. "Poor you." Doctor said.

Next was Charden, who ran up, and ended up tripping when he reached the two. "Heeeey! Nice plane! Is this what we are leaving in?"

Doctor nodded. "Yup. We just have to wait for Sven and Train to show up."

So, Doctor and Charden sat on the ground, playing tic-tac-toe in the sand, while Creed continued crying.

It was almost an hour when the two showed up.

"Hiiiii! We got bored by ourselves, so decided to come look for you guys. I'm amazed we found you all in one place!" Train said, seeming overly happy.

"Yeah, yeah. Can we go now?" Doctor said. With that, the five of them got in the plane, and flew away.

---

_In Charden's house..._

"Ah, its so much better here. I know for sure I wont trip in my own house." Charden said, sitting on the floor.

Everyone else sat on the floor too.

Creed snorted, looking at all the bandages on his body. "That trip sucked."

Charden shrugged. "It was boring."

"Oh, I didn't think it was that bad." Doctor said.

Creed growled. "That's 'cause you weren't attacked by monkeys."

Doctor was about to say more, but Train cut in. "Well, I lost my virginity..."

They all stared at him.

"To who...?" Creed asked.

"Sven."

The was a slapping sound, followed by a loud yell.

"SVEN, YOU WHORE!"

---

Chapter End. Hehe, this was interesting to write. Kekeke.


	9. Sven in Wonderland P 1

**Crackerfang: **Today, I bring you...

Sven in Wonderland.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Black Cat or Alice in Wonderland.

---

Chapter 9: Sven in Wonderland (Part 1)

---

It was an ordinary evening, in a plain boring world.

One man, Sven Vollfied, was sitting outside, under a tree and reading a book.

"This thing is impossible to figure out!" he yelled, throwing the book to the ground. The title read 'Children's Coloring Book, For Children!'.

Even though Sven lived an ordinary life, he was not an ordinary person. For instance, right now he was wearing a blue dress. A very tight blue dress.

He stood up, and sighed. Pulling out a cigarette from the tree's secret compartment, he lit it, and started puffing away. Soon he'd have lung cancer...

Sven took a few steps away from the tree, about to go home, when a little boy dressed in a bunny suit pushed him over and ran away.

"Out of the way, fathead! I'm gonna be late!" the bunny boy, Leon, said.

Getting up, Sven watched the thing leave. He got up and followed. He just HAD to know where that boy got the outfit from.

He ran as fast as he could in that tight blue dress of his, to catch up with Leon. He stopped suddenly, seeing the boy jump into an oversized rabbit hole.

"Waaaaait!" Sven called, but it was too late. Still, he wouldn't give up!

He too, jumped into the rabbit hole.

---

Part 1 is short! Bwahaha!


	10. Tidbit Skits, 2

**Fasie:** Fasie here, bringing you another chapter full of random skits! I present to you…Chapter 10: Tidbit Skits, Part Two

**NOTE!**

Cracker is going to be on vacation for a few days, so if this doesn't get updated everyday, don't worry! I'll do my best to keep cranking out stories for you without the help of Cracker. Sorry folks!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rubber ducky song, the who stole the cookies from the cookie pot song, or the ever popular I'm giving this up for lent thing. Also, I don't own Black Cat.

-----------------

"Rubber ducky, you're the one. You make bath time lots of fun!" Creed sang quietly to himself, waving his rubber ducky around in the shower. He just loved to shower with his rubber ducky. He shut the water off and wrapped a towel around his lower half, then walked out of the bathroom, down the hall, and to the master bedroom.

Sven sat on the bed, looking angrily at Creed. "That was my special towel…"

"Oh, sorry," Creed said, taking the towel off and handing it to Sven.

Sven shook his head and continued looking angrily at Creed. "I hear you laughing and giggling every night in the shower and I can't help but to think someone's in there with you. Why not me? Why don't you ever shower with ME?!"

Creed smiled and pulled out his rubber ducky and held it out in front of him. "He makes bath time lots of fun."

Quack!

-----------------

Sven sat Creed, Charden, Doctor, and Train down on their very large couch for a castle-dweller's meeting. Someone had been stealing cookies from the cookie jar. Sven was saving those for a special occasion and was very, very, very, very, very, very, VERY, very, very, very angry.

He cleared his throat. "Okay, guys. I'm going to be frank."

"Can I be Julia Roberts?" Charden stuck out his lip and begged.

Doctor waved his hand in the air. "I've always wanted to be Cousin It!"

Creed giggled. "Can I be Lucy? That's Charden's given name," he said, matter-of-factly. "I've always had a thing for Charden's name," he said quietly.

Sven ignored all of this and continued on. "Someone has been stealing cookies from the cookie pot. Was it you?"

Charden looked surprised he was accused. "Who me?"

"Yes you."

"Couldn't be."

"Then who?"

Every one looked at Train. He looked up from the cookie pot with a mouthful of cookies. "Wasn't me," he said, dropping cookie crumbs all over.

-----------------

(My awesomely and overly Catholic uncle inspired this one. xD He's always making awful jokes about it. xD)

"Psst, over here,"

Sven stopped skipping around his room and looked at the closet. Was someone in there?

"Come on, I don't have all day,"

Sven tip-toed to the closet and peeked in. "Train?"

Train pointed. "Let's get down to business. See this ball of lint?"

Sven looked at the corner where a giant, three foot ball of lint sat. He looked confused.

"I am prepared to give you this ball of lint IF you give me something equal in value."

Sven frowned. "You know I'm poorer than dirt, Train. I don't have anything to give you."

Train looked Sven up and down and crossed his arms. "You know, that suit would look absolutely fantastic on me."

"Well…."

---

"Hey Creed!" Doctor waved at him.

"Yeah, Doc?"

"Have you seen your lover? He's been walking around naked all day."

Creed gave him a questioning look.

Doctor leaned in and whispered, like it was a big secret.

"Yeah, Charden said that he gave his clothes up for lint."

--------------------

**Fasie:** Well, that's a wrap! I'll be back with more stories for you tomorrow! And remember, REVIEW! If you must, review five times for each chapter, but we want reviews! I promised Cracker that there would be 67 favs, 42 alerts, and 3,008 reviews when she got back, So let's get a-reviewin'!


	11. Doctor, Doctor

**Fasie: **Well after being stuck in a car all day today and being forced to listen to my mom's new 60's , 70's and 80's rock CDs, I have decided to write a story with inspiration from the 60's! I bring you Chapter 11: Doctor, Doctor.

**Disclaimer:**I don't own Black Cat or any of the songs I may use in the following story.

-----------------

(Bonus points to anyone who can figure the song out by just reading the first line, if you haven't gotten it already.)

_Dear Doctor,_

Train exhaled and tapped his pencil on the desk. Writing this was harder than he had imagined. But he had to do it. Doctor HAD to know just how he felt about him, and he didn't have the guts to tell him face to face. He took another deep breath and continued.

_I've always admired you from afar…_

Train growled and crumpled up the paper. He threw it in the garbage can next to the desk, but it had fallen out and now lay on the floor next to the many copies of letters Train had tried to write earlier. Maybe a poem would be easier to do, he thought.

_Roses are red_

_Violets are blue_

Train almost screamed and banged his pencil on his head. Frustrated, he pulled out a sharpie and wrote over his half written poem.

_DAMMIT DOCTOR_

_I LOVE YOU_

He smiled happily and took his letter down the hall to Doctor's room. He slipped it under the door and tiptoed quickly away.

---

Doctor picked up the note and read it. He was thoroughly confused and didn't know if it was Creed pulling another prank or if someone actually DID love him. He tucked the piece of paper in his shirt pocket and went out to the hallway to pace and think.

Nearing Charden's room, he heard a strange noise. That noise was Charden singing.

"Doctor, Doctor, gimme the news. I gotta bad case of lovin' you!" Charden sang, though not loud enough for Doctor to make out the words.

"Charden shut up! I'm trying to think!" Doctor yelled, but Charden didn't hear him. He was too busy singing.

As soon as Doctor reached Charden's door to bang on it, he stopped. He realized he had heard his name. He stuck his ear to the door and listened, to his dismay, to Charden singing.

"Doctor, Doctor, gimme the news! I gotta bad case of lovin' you! No pill's gonna cure my ill, I've got a bad case of lovin' you!"

Doctor turned away from the door giggling like Charden does all the time. At last! Charden finally had feelings for him! He had been working nonstop to get Charden to notice him, and now…He loves him.

---

"Hey Train?"

Train's heart stuttered. Was Doctor talking to him? Did he find the note? Does he know it was him who wrote it? What would he say? A million more questions flew through Train's head, but he forced himself to stay calm.

"Hey, Doc."

Doctor pulled out the letter and held it in front of himself. "I just got this letter yesterday, Train. It says: Roses are red, violets are blue. Dammit Doctor, I love you."

Train peeked over the note casually like he had never seen it before. "Do you know who wrote it?" he asked, slyly.

"Yeah."

Train's heart stopped, and an uncontrollable smile spread across his face. "And…?" he prodded.

Doctor giggled again. "I've liked him for some time now, and I just can't believe he likes me back. I just wanted to tell you-" Doctor was interrupted by Train leaping at him and giving him the longest, wettest kiss he had ever had.

Doctor shoved him off and backed away. "What the hell was that for?!" he yelled.

Train wiped his mouth off and looked down. "I-I…I thought you loved me, Doctor. I-"

Doctor's eyes went wide. "You?" He laughed.

Train looked hurt.

"I was talking about Charden! I heard him singing that he loved me."

Train glared at him and huffed out of the room, leaving Doctor wondering why the heck Train had kissed him.

---

Charden came strolling down the hall then, strutting is more like it. He was singing again. "Doctor, Doctor, gimme the news. I gotta bad case of lovin' you! No pill's gonna cure my ill, I've got a bad case of lovin' you!"

Doctor ran out into the hall and hugged Charden. Then kissed him several times on the cheeks and then planted a wet one on his lips. When he was done, Charden looked surprised.

"Well, that was pleasant, Doc, but completely unnecessary."

Doctor looked at him with a big smile on his face. "But you love me."

Charden looked at him with an equally big confused look on his face. "Do not."

"Do to."

"Do not."

"Then why were you singing for the past two days that you love me?"

Charden giggled. "You've never heard the song? Every time I hear it, it gets stuck in my head. Funny thing is I can only remember the chorus. It's very catchy."

Charden strolled (-cough- strutted) past Doctor, his stilettos tapping on the floor, his hips swinging back and forth, and his voice filling up the hallway.

"Doctor, Doctor, gimme the news, I gotta bad case of lovin' you!"

------------------------

**Fasie: **Whoot! Hope you enjoyed that! Bad case of loving you (Doctor, Doctor), is one of my favourite songs . As always, REVIEW! Thank you .


	12. Sven in Wonderland P 2

**Crackerfang:** ... I'm trying to make this close to the actual book, but I've officially skipped two chapters in the process of writing. xD Oh well.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Black Cat.

---

Chapter 12: Sven in Wonderland Part 2

---

"Oof!" Sven shook his head as he sat up from his fall. It was a very painful fall...

He saw that weird bunny kid walking down a long hallway, and decided to follow because he is a creepy pedophile.

He followed Leon until the boy turned a corner, and seemed to disappear. Now he was just in a looooooooong hallway with nothing in it. Nothing but a bright pink curtain, and a table. Sven walked to the table, looking at what covered it. There was a key, and a bottle that said 'DRINK ME AND YOU DIE!'.

Grabbing the key, he examined it and wondered what it could go to. "It can't possibly go to that door that was badly hidden behind that hideous pink curtain, could it?" Sven said to himself, and walked to the seemingly hidden door. He put the key in the lock, turned it, and pulled it out. He felt somewhat dirty...

Sven pushed the door open to see what was through it. A VERY tiny hall way, that was just as pink as the curtain. He frowned, wondering how he'd get through.

Then he turned his attention to the bottle on the table. "It says 'Drink me and you die'... I think I can live with that." he swallowed every drop of the drink. (It tasted like Fruit Loops!)

The next thing he knew, he was a very little man in a blue dress. "I KNEW IT! I AM OLD!" he never thought he'd shrink at only 30... "Oh well, I can go through the hallway now." he said, and skipped off.

---

After roaming this odd and pink land, Sven decided that he was bored. He had seen nothing but pink flowers, pink grass, pink mice, and pink... everything else.

Very soon, though, he stumbled upon a pink mushroom with a pink caterpillar sitting on the top of it. It was a hideously disgusting caterpillar, too.

"HIIIII! I haven't seen you around here before! My name is Kyoko, whats your name!?"

The thing was very loud, and it was hard to understand what it was saying because it talked to fast.

Sven blinked. "Your frightening. I think I'm gonna go..."

"BUT YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ME YOUR NAME!!!!!" Kyoko screamed.

Only becoming even more frightend, Sven ran.

---

"Gawdzorz, if I look at anything pink ever again, I'll go crazy." Sven muttered, half-wishing everything here would turn a different color.

"Oh, I know how you feel. Pink is so bright, I hate it."

Sven looked around, wondering where that voice was coming from. "Wh--" what he was about to say was interrupted when a large creature jumped ontop of him, and forced him to the ground.

A young man wearing a black cat outfit sat on him. "Wow! I like your dress, can I have it?" the boy asked, tugging at Sven's dress.

"No!" Sven got up, pushing the boy off of him. "Its mine!" he hissed.

The boy blinked. "I thought hissing was my job... ANYWAY! My name is Train, who are you?"

'Two people here have asked me that now...' Sven thought. "I'm Sven. I'm 30 years old, and I like to wear womens clothing..."

"Geez, I asked for your name, not your whole life story!" Train said, poking Sven's nose. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

Sven shrugged. "I followed a little bunny down here. I'm regretting that I ever came... Do you know how I can get back?"

Train nodded. "There is only one way to get back, and that is to sleep with the insane Queen Creed."

"Okay."

There was a long moment of silence.

"So, can you lead me to this... Queen Creed?"

"Yes..." Train said, blinking. "Uh... I'll take you there, but you have to carry me!" he said with a creepy grin.

Sven stared at him, making another long moment of silence. "Alright. Lets go..."

---

And that ends part 2 of Sven in Wonderland.


	13. Sven in Wonderland P 3

**Cracker: **Wow... this story was supposed to be updated daily, but I guess that isn't happening. Hehe.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything, except for Jet Li, Ruby Li, Pillow, Bob, Saphira, Senel... -goes on with a long list of cats-

---

Chapter 13: Sven in Wonderland Part 3

---

"So, this Queen Creed... is she pretty?"

Train blinked. "You mean 'he', and yes, he is very pretty."

"He?" That just confused Sven more than anything else in this bright pink place. "Then shouldn't he be 'King' Creed?"

"Nope."

They walked for a while more, while Sven wondered what kind of guy this 'Creed' person had to be to call himself a Queen. Soon, they came upon a pink house.

Tugging Sven's hair, Train pointed at the house. "Lets sneak in, and see if there's anything to eat! I'm STARVING!"

So Sven walked into the house, and looked around. Even things in the house were pink. He was really sick of that color.

"Cake!" Train jumped off of Sven's back, and moved to the random table. Before he could devour any of the sweets left on the table, he was distracted by a loud giggling.

"Visitors! I haven't had anyone here since my friends left because they didn't like my stilettos."

The two turned to look at a new person who walked in the room. The newcomer had two things on that were very noticable. One, the pink stilettos he just mentioned, and two, a really tall, pink top hat. This person also giggled a lot.

Train giggled as well. "You look ridiculous..." he said. "I'm not surprised your friend's left."

"Well, you two don't look much better. At least I stick with the colors everyone else does. I'm not wearing black, or blue." Charden said, glaring at the pair.

Sven shrugged. "I'm glad I'm not wearing pink. I'm sure I would have committed suicide long ago, if I was."

"I wanted a pink cat suit, but Creed told me I could only wear one when I went to see him for 'special' visits... So I got stuck with black." Train said, sighing.

"Well..." Charden thought for a moment. "Do you guys want some tea?"

"Nope."

"Do you have any milk?"

Charden shook his head. "Just tea."

"Then, we should be off. We really have no reason to be here." Sven said, and turned to walk away.

Train pulled his hair again. "But I'm still hungry..."

"Then you probably should go." Charden said. "I don't believe in eating."

Train and Sven stared at him. "Then... how are you still alive?" they asked.

"I can't die, so long as I'm wearing my magic stilettos."

Sven blinked, and shook his head. "Ooookay.. I'm leaving now." He walked out of the house, feeling overly scared of Charden.

Train didn't leave yet, for he was wondering why there was cake on the table if Charden didn't eat food. He figured they must be fake, either that or they were poisoned.

"Where are you two going?" Charden asked.

Turning to look at him, Train said, "To Queen Creed's pink castle. You want to come with?"

Charden sighed, and shook his head. "I wish I could, but Queen Creed banned me from ever going to the castle again, because he said my stilettos don't match my outfit..."

"Ah..." Train was overly confused. The whole outfit was pink... how could they not match? "Well, I guess I should leave, before Sven abandons me..." he skipped out of the house.

When he got outside, he looked around for his crossdressing, pirate friend. "Aww, I'm too late." Sven had left, and now Train was sad. He sat on the ground and cried.

A minute later, Sven came out from behind a big pink bush. "Sorry, I had to pee. Why are you crying?"

Train blinked, and shook away his tears. "No reason. Come on, lets go to Queen Creed's castle!" He said, and jumped onto Sven. "You still have to carry me."

---

Myeh, I wasn't sure where to end this chapter, so I just ended it with that. I have one thing to say, now...

I wish I had a crossdressing, pirate friend...


	14. Sweet Dreams

**Fasie:** Hey-o! I hope you enjoy this! This is like Black Cat…the musical. Me and Cracker came up with this last Friday while shopping. I really have to say sorry to my mom and Cracker's. Who knows what they think while we're laughing our heads off about singing Creed. They think we meant the band. xP. Welp, I bring you, CHAPTER 14: I really don't have a title for this, but we'll all it Sweet Dreams.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Black Cat or the Wizard of Oz songs.

---

"'Night, Creed," Sven said sleepily, and rolled over off the bed He didn't seem to notice. "Sweet dreams."

Creed turned off the light and smiled. "I hope so." He hugged his pillow and soon, Creed was asleep.

---

Train rain through the alley breathlessly. Had he been too late? Was Saya dead?

He turned the corner to se Creed standing over Saya, his bloody kotetsu in his hand at his side. "Creed!" Train screamed, glaring at the man. He ran to Saya and kneeled beside her. He looked at Creed, anger in his eyes. "WHAT'D YOU DO TO HER?"

Creed folded his arms and smiled. "I killed her. I killed the witch. The wicked witch is dead."

Sven popped up from behind Creed. "Ding-dong."

Creed smiled wider. "The witch is dead."

"Which old witch?"

Creed pointed his kotetsu at Saya. "The wicked witch is dead."

Doctor and Charden popped up from behind Sven and all three linked arms and began to skip around and sing. "Ding-dong! The Wicked Witch is dead."

Creed joined them.

"Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead. She's gone where the goblins go, below - below - below. Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out. Ding Dong' the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low. Let them know-"

"THE WICKED WITCH IS DEAD!"

Everyone stopped singing and looked at Train.

"I didn't like her much anyway."

---

**Fasie:** The sad thing is, that's what REALLY happened in the anime and manga.

REVIEW PLEASE!


	15. Tidbit Skits 3

**Cracker:** Yay! Its my turn to write Tidbit skits! Fweee! And don't worry, I'll update Sven in Wonderland soon. I just have to figure out what to do next.

x3

Oh, and this group of skits is different. It has FOUR skits. That's right, FOUR! That's one more than three.

**Disclaimer:** I. Really. Hate. These. But. I. Shall. Say. That. I. Don't. Own. Black. Cat. Anyway.

---

Chapter 15: Tidbit Skits Part 3

---

It was nighttime, and Creed was thirstier than a thirsy thirst. He was making his way towards the kitchen, when he noticed Train leaving his closet.

A question popped into his little head, and he violently poked his friend's forehead.

"Hey Train, how come you only leave the closet at night?" Creed asked.

"No reason."

Another question popped in his head. "Why are your teeth so sharp?"

Train shrugged. "They've always been sharp."

With no more questions, Creed walked away, but couldn't help wondering about that guy. Next, he ran into Sven. He got a third question in his head.

"Sven... why do you have bite marks on your neck?"

------------

Charden walked up the stairs of the castle, going towards his house, and his eyes fell upon Sven. The much older man was staring through the stare rails, and was appearently looking at Eve and Leon as they played.

That wasn't the scariest thing, though.

Sven was wearing... bear pajamas.

Charden thought about asking, but shook his head. Instead, he muttered to himself.

"I always knew Sven was a pedobear..."

------------

"Hey, Sven..."

Sven looked up from his newspaper, and took his cigarette out of his mouth. "Yes, Train?"

Train said nothing for a few minutes, and sighed. He felt a little awkward. "Well... you know how I'm going to be working outside, now that its warmer?"

Nodding, Sven wondered where he was going with this.

"Can you... possibly..."

"Possibly what, Train?"

Letting out a breath, Train said what he wanted to as fast as he could. "Can you buy me a penis sheath?"

"..."

------------

There they were, five people, all sitting in front of a colorful 'rug'.

"Creed, do you remember buying this?" Sven asked.

"Nope."

Train smiled, and walked across it, giggling at the funny sounds it made. "Doesn't it sound like its screaming?"

Doctor nodded.

Charden walked across as well, the screaming sounding louder.

Suddenly, something happened that surprised them all.

Xiao Li stood up, throwing his girly blanket into a corner. "It's no fun disguising myself as a rug if your going to step on me..."

---

**Y**ay! The last one wasn't really funny, but I wanted to have Xiao Li do something, for once. I liked writing about Train being a vampire, too. I've wanted to write that since I did 'Easy to Escape from Island'

Oh, and the third one, I was inspired to do that when I was on vacation. I went to 'Ripley's Believe it or Not' and they displayed a 'penis sheath'. (and no, its not a condom. Kekeke)

It was supposed to be used to protect guys from dangerous bugs, or something. Anyway, it makes me laugh to have Train think he needs one.


	16. Llama, Llama

**Crackerfang: **I has nothing to say.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Black Cat.

---

Chapter 16: Llama, llama...

---

All was quiet in the castle. Sven and Train were nowhere to be found, and Creed was sitting in his bright pink room. He stared at the only wall in the room that was not bright pink. The wall was odd, as it could change colors, but it was never the same color pink as the rest of the room.

Feeling overly bored, he decided to sing.

"Here's a llama, there's a llama, and another little llama, fuzzy llama, funny llama, llama, llama..."

---

"DUCK!" Train yelled, and pointed up at the sky as a duck flew by.

Sven stared at him for a moment. "Amazing." He really didn't care. He just wanted to know how they ended up in this weird place, when they were heading to the kitchen.

---

The singing continued, as a certain giggly man wearing stilettos sat near the door, listening. He giggled.

"Llama, llama, cheesecake, llama, tablet, brick, potato, llama, llama, llama, mushroom, llama, llama, llama..."

---

"DUCK!"

Sven looked at Train again, but said nothing. He hated ducks.

---

Now Doctor was listening with Charden. They both giggled.

"I was once a treehouse, I lived in a cake, but I never saw the way the orange slayed the rake. I was only three years dead, but it told a tale,and now listen, little child, to the safty rail!"

This was the weirdest song they'd ever heard.

"Did you ever see a llama, kiss a llama, on the llama, tastes of llama, llama, llama..."

---

"DUCK!"

Sven glared at Train, fighting back the urge to beat the stuffings out of his young friend.

---

Xiao Li had joined the two, but he didn't giggle like they did. He wanted to, oh yes, he REALLY wanted to, but he would never giggle at his love's singing. He would also never admit to anyone that he loved Creed, because he didn't want his stuffings beat out of him by Sven.

"Half a llama, twice the llama, not a llama, farmer, llama, llama in a car, alarm a llama, llama..."

---

"DUCK!"

Sven's eye twitched. He refused to look at Train, now.

---

Eve and Leon were now huddled by the door, giggling with Charden and Doctor. Xiao Li still held his giggles in.

"Is this how it's told now, is it all so old? Is it made of lemon juice? Doorknob, ankle, cold. Now my song is getting thin, I've run out of luck! Time for me to retire now, and become a..."

---

Train took in a breath.

"LET ME GUESS! YOU'RE GONNA SAY 'DUCK' AREN'T YOU!?" Sven yelled, glaring at Train.

For a moment, it seemed as if Train was going to cry, and Sven felt bad about yelling. But that feeling disappeared as Train said, "Yup! How'd you know?"

Sven growled. "Because, thats all you've been yelling all da-" his sentance was interrupted as a ball whacked him the in back of the head.

Train squatted beside his friend. "You were supposed to duck."

---

**C**hapter ends. Yay! I love the llama song. x33


	17. Plays

**Crackerfang:** -is too busy singing to say anything-

**Disclaimer:** I own a notepad that I write some of these stories in, but I don't own Black Cat. I have 3 black and white cats, though! And one thats black and gray. And I have a pure white cat...

---

Chapter 17: Plays

---

It was another boring day in the Magic Castle, and there were three people sitting on the green couch of boredom.

"Sven?" Train looked at his friend, "Did you know that we are both pregnant with eachothers babies?"

Sven nodded, then stood up. "We should put on a play for everyone!"

"What kind of play?" Creed asked.

After a moment of thought, Sven smirked. "How about something like... the Lion King!"

"Wasn't that the movie with the lion that had to beat up his gay uncle?" Train asked. "And then he made babies with his half-sister?"

Creed snorted. "She wasn't his half sister."

Train laughed. "Dude, think. One male lion, a bunch of female lions... Of course they are related!"

"Scar could be her father." Creed pointed out.

"True." Train shrugged. "But they'd still be cousins. Either way, its incest. But I suppose it wouldn't be hard to do that play. Creed could play Scar."

"What! Why do I have to play Scar?"

Train giggled. "Well, your evil, and your gay. You'd be perfect!"

Creed gave Train a very angry stare. "Gay!? I'm not gay! That's just sick, you sicko!" he turned around, grumbling to himself. Then he turned his head to look at Train again. "I'm bisexual."

Sven shook his head. "Then how about the Nightmare Before Christmas?"

"Thats the movie with the skeleton who couldn't scare anybody, right?" Train said. "And there was those three little weirdos... erm... the girl who was always mistaken for a boy, and the two kids that were gay together! They worked for Fatty Patty, right?"

"No, no, no!" Creed yelled, slapping Train. "For one, Jack was bored of scaring people, but he COULD. And Lock and Barrel were not gay together! And the fat guy's name is Oogie Boogie, not Fatty Patty!"

Train blinked. "You sure? I could have sworn it was Fatty Patty. If it was, then Sven could play him. He's fat enough."

"Sven's not fat..."

Shaking his head again, Sven made a new suggestion. "Peter Pan?"

"That'll always remind me of our trip in the cornfield, Svenny. I wasn't happy towards the end, you dirty pervert, but I do remember the fairy. I do believe in fairies!" Train giggled again.

Creed tipped his head. "Why is Sven a dirty pervert?"

"He refused to carry me on his back unless I got naked. He's sick, Creed. I feel bad for you. You don't know what he does to your body while your sleeping." Train said.

Creed slapped Sven. "YOU WHORE!"

Sven cried out. "Ow. Fine, since you guys don't seem to like that idea, then how about.. um... Alice in Wonderland?"

"Nope." Train said. "We are doing that already, remember?"

"Oh right." How could he forget? He was stuck in that tight blue dress the whole story.

That's when Charden burst into the room, and tripped. He stood up, and gave them all a serious look. "Guys, I think I'm pregnant! And Rinslet is the father!"

---

**S**o this chapter was basicly Train making fun of movies, Creed correcting him, and the three of them thinking back to past chapters. And Charden is pregnant. Yay.


	18. The new maid

**Cracker:** I'm a little dog face, short and stout. Here is my antelope, here is my cow.

Wait... thats not how the song goes.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Black Cat, or Charden's super special awesome hat. ... I don't own the words 'super special awesome' either...

---

Chapter 18: The new maid

---

"I CAN'T WORK UNDER THESE CONDITIONS!!!!!"

The yell could be heard all around the castle, and even in Charden's house.

"Train! Calm down!" Sven said, pushing the younger man onto the couch.

Train growled. "YOU CALM DOWN!"

Creed giggled, but said nothing.

"I'm not the one yelling." Sven said. "Why are you freaking out anyway?"

Train stood up, shoving Sven out of his way. "I don't know who you people think you are, but you can't treat me this way." he said, and walked away. He opened the closet door, and turned to them. "YOU CAN'T FIRE ME! I QUIT!" he stripped off his maid outfit, threw in on the floor, and stormed into the closet.

"Great. Now we need a new maid." Creed said. He wondered who'd be good for the job.

Sven picked out a few people from his mind, and thought. "We need someone who likes us a lot... who giggles a lot... and someone we can tell is coming towards us from a mile away." He looked at Creed.

Creed looked at Sven.

"Charden!" they said together, and ran off to find him.

---

They found him at his house, watching a blank TV, and tapping his stilettos on the floor. Surprisingly, he was not giggling.

"Hi Charden!" Creed said as he burst through the door. "We want you to be our new maid."

Charden stood up right away, and giggled. "YES! I've always wanted to wear a maid outfit!" he said. "Oh... but what about Train?"

Sven sighed. "He quit. No one could clean the litter boxes like he could..."

"Sven... we don't have any cats. The only reason they were clean is because they were never used." Creed said. He was obviously ignored, because Sven went on sighing.

"Yay! I'm gonna be a maid! I'm gonna be a maid!" Charden sang, and skipped out of his house. The other two followed.

---

It was a few days after Charden had become their new maid that they were begging Train to work for them again.

Actually, Sven was currently working on that in the bedroom.

Creed was wandering the castle, bored and he felt like he was being cheated on... he had given Sven permission to do what he was doing, but he still hated it.

As his angry thoughts roamed his mind, he stumbled into the room Charden was currently cleaning. What he saw frightend him.

"Charden... what are you doing?"

The stiletto-wearing man looked up. He had his hat on the floor, and was moving it along the rug, making funny sounds. "Vacuuming. What else would I be doing?"

---

**M**an... I wish I had a hat that could vacuum. Kekeke...


	19. Wiz ard uf Awz

**Fasie:** Hello, hello, one and all! Welcome to the Black Cat (and Fasie)'s version of the Wizard of Oz! Be prepared for an outrageous twist on Oz and some ruby red stilettos. I bring you Chapter 19: The Wizard of Oz- Black Cat Style, Part One. (And you can thank Cracker for the name of "Wiz ard uf Awz". She's a bit mental today.) And sorry , sorry, it took so long,, but it's here now! ENJOY!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Black Cat or the Wizard of Oz. Man, am I getting tired of writing these things.

**AUTHORS NOTE THAT YOU HAVE TO READ BEFORE YOU GO ON**

I, Fasie, do not support drinking in access AT ALL. If there are any youngin' s out there reading this, do not drink AT ALL until you are of age. And when you are of age, don't drink so much that you get flat out drunk every time. Everything in moderation.

Now I feel better.

Oh, and if it's someone's birthday, don't give them your spleen.

-----------------

Chapter 19: The Wizard of Oz- Black Cat Style, Part One.

-On the phone with three people at once.-

"Yeah, hey. I'm having a party tonight. You guys wanna come?" Charden twisted the phone cord around his fingers, waiting for his invitation to be accepted.

Train, Sven, and Doctor all said "We'll be there" at once and hung up, leaving Charden giggling with delight.

He set out some food and drinks, but the drinks out numbered the food 50 to 1. After this party everyone will be sweating booze. The doorbell rang and he ran, giggling all the way, to let his party guests in.

"Hey Train. Sven. Doctor." Charden nodded to all his guests.

"Sven," Train said.

"Train," Sven bit his lip.

"Train."

"Sven."

"Train."

Doctor stared at the two as they continued naming each other.

"Sven."

"Train."

"Doctor!"

Train and Sven looked at him and shook their head.

"Train."

"Sven."

"Would you two shut up?!" Charden smacked both of them in the head. "Can we get to the party now?" He smiled and turned to lead everyone to the party room. Doctor walked beside him, leaving Sven and Train staring each other down behind them.

"Train."

"Sven."

"Train."

-Insert Charden killing Sven and Train scene here and me with an XD face.-

(If only that had actually happened…)

-----------------

"So what's the occasion?" Sven asked, tossing a bottle of beer to every one. He took his and downed it in one gulp.

"Is it your birthday?" Doctor asked. He started searching his pockets for a birthday gift.

Train held out his hand while bending over in agony. His voice was weak. "I got you a spleen. I know, I shouldn't have…" He passed out on the floor; everyone took a step back from the pool of blood that began to spread across the floor.

"Um…no." Charden said cheerfully. He took a gulp of his drink and continued. "I wanted to have a party just so we could exclude Creed!" He giggled again. (Charden does an awful lot of giggling…)

Doctor joined in on the giggling, though his giggle was more like an insane 'Imma take over the world and make you all suffer a horribly slow and painful death!' laugh.

Sven clapped his hands excitedly. "At least now we can play Dress-Up without him stealing all the costume jewelry."

Charden giggled again. "Only if I can be the dress!"

"I want to be the up!"

-A moment of awkward silence.-

"Actually, the purpose of this party was to get you all drunk and take advantage of your bodies."

Sven leaned away from Charden and covered his chest with one hand and his crotch with the other. Doctor leaned closer. Charden leaned away.

"Drink up!" Charden said, passing another round of booze around. He set one down on the floor by Train, who was still bleeding and quite upset that Charden didn't like his birthday gift.

By the time they were all tipsy enough that none of them could see straight, someone spoke up and asked about Creed. Then they all passed out, all of them as drunk as a skunk.

-Thousands of miles away…-

"Sven? Pick up the phone! Please Sven, please, please, _please,_ pick the phone up!" Creed hung up the phone, holding back tears, and decided to go hunt Sven down.

He sniffed all over and finally found a trail that led to Charden's house. He peeked in the window and his jaw dropped when he saw everyone laying on the floor on top of each other; beer bottles laid randomly about. "Blast it, they're having a sex party without me again." He almost began to cry but shook his head.

"I'll get back at them, just they watch!"

----------------

**Fasie:** And that's a wrap! Part One of the Wizard of Oz is finished! Stay tuned for the rest of the story. I'm sure you are asking yourself how the heck THIS is going to turn into the Wizard of Oz. Well, you'll just have to wait and see . Oh, and as always, LEAVE A REVIEW! I'll love you forever.


	20. Spanish

**Cracker:** This chapter... HAS SPANISH! Yup, we are learning Spanish at school, so I figured I should use my mad skills and write a Spanish chapter... Thank goodness for online translators!

xD

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Black Cat.

Also, for anyone who doesn't know Spanish, I'll put the translations on the bottom.

---

Chapter 20: Spanish

---

It was morning, and both Charden and Sven were very upset. They were both hungry, and breakfast wasn't made! Poor Doctor died of starvation... Okay, not really, but he did run away scared when Sven threatend to eat him alive.

Finally, the person they wanted to see walked out of the closet.

"Train! We've been waiting forever! Hurry up and make us breakfast!" Sven yelled, his eye twitching.

Train looked at him, and smiled. Obviously, he ignored Sven's anger. "¡Buenos días, amor¿Qué quisiera usted para el desayuno?"

Sven blinked, and got even more angry. "Train, I don't even know what you said. Will you just make me breakfast?"

Charden nodded, and Train tipped his head.

"Voy a, pero usted no ha contestado mi pregunta aún. ¿Qué quiere usted para el desayuno?"

Growling, Sven slapped Train. "Will you cut it out!?"

Train whined, rubbing his cheek. "No hago nada. ¿Por qué actúa usted tan extraño, Sven?"

This time, Charden slapped him. Then Sven slapped him. Then Charden again. Train continued whining.

"¡Párese¡Su tan significan¡Odio a ustedes ambos¡Usted puede hacer su propio desayuno!" Train yelled, and fell to the floor crying.

This is when a very annoyed Creed walked into the kitched. He took one look at the scene, and glared at Sven and Charden. "How many times have I told you people that you need to switch Train's language back to English in the morning? If you keep slapping him, we'll never get breakfast!" He grabbed Train's head, messing with a random switch on the back of his head. Then he looked at Train.

Train sniffled, and looked at Creed. "All I did was ask them what they wanted for breakfast... and they hurt me..."

Creed smiled, and hugged Train. "Come on, lets leave these two to suffer, and go get something good to eat, okay?" When Train nodded, he helped his friend up, and the two of them left.

Sven and Charden sat at the table and sighed. Now they'd never eat.

Doctor walked into the room, seeming to forget that threat from earlier. Charden looked at Sven. Sven looked at Charden. They both looked at Doctor.

Sven smirked. "You know, you look really tasty..."

---

**E**nd. Translation time.

**¡Buenos días, amor¿Qué quisiera usted para el desayuno?: **Good morning, love! What would you like for breakfast?

**Voy a, pero usted no ha contestado mi pregunta aún. ¿Qué quiere usted para el desayuno?:** I'm going to, but you haven't answered my question yet. What do you want for breakfast?

**No hago nada. ¿Por qué actúa usted tan extraño, Sven?:** I'm not doing anything. Why are you acting so weird, Sven?

**¡Párese¡Su tan significan¡Odio a ustedes ambos¡Usted puede hacer su propio desayuno!:** Stop! Your so mean! I hate you both! You can make your own breakfast!


	21. TheRules

**zFasie**: I don't have anything to say for this one, except follow the rules. Yep, that's it. Just follow the rules.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Black Cat or Doctor's Handy Dandy Rule Book for Every Occasion.

----------

Doctor cleared his throat and opened his doctor's bag. "Sven has asked me to gather all of you here to read you the rules of the castle." He nodded and pulled out his handy dandy rule book for every occasion. Placing his hand upon his face, he began to read.

"Rule number one. No girls are allowed in the castle."

Charden nudged Creed in the side with his elbow. "Get out, Creed."

"But I own the castle!" he protested. He looked at Doctor. Doctor nodded and pulled out a pencil and scribbled in his book. _No girls, except Creed, are allowed in the castle._

He continued. "Rule number two. No gum, pop, candy, food, or fat people."

Train stood up and raised his hand.

"Yes, Train?"

"Then why is Sven in here?" He pointed his finger down at Sven, then poked him in his belly.

Sven giggled like Charden would have.

Doctor glared at Sven. "Go on a diet, Sven."

He frowned.

"Okay, continuing on," Doctor sighed. He turned the page in his book. "Rule number three-"

"Doctor, Doctor!"

Doctor grumbled. "Charden, if you are going to say something retarded, I swear Imma hurt someone."

"Do you still love me?"

Doctor frowned and slammed his book shut. He threw it at Charden, and his hat sucked it up. Doctor swore.

Charden giggled as his hat started to talk.

"Bad Doctor," the hat scolded. "It clearly states in rule number three that profane language will not be tolerated. Creed, dispose of this rule-breaker!"

Creed saluted the hat, grabbed the screaming Doctor, and marched out of the room.

Train, Sven, Charden, and Charden's hat all sat quietly listening to Doctor's screams, some loud banging noises, and Creed's laughter.

Creed walked back into the room and clapped his hands together in a job well done. He was smiling, which made the Castle residents even more nervous. He sat down next to Sven and started to chuckle. Sven scooted away.

"Go on with the rules please."

Charden nodded, and crossed one leg over the other, folded his hands in his lap and looked up to his hat and made kissy faces at it.

The hat giggled and started to speak. "Rule number four. No peeing on the curtains."

Train frowned and crossed his arms. "Since when is THAT a rule?" he said angrily.

Charden's hat looked down at Charden. "Since this dope couldn't find the bathroom."

Charden sank down in his seat, though it didn't help much. "Sorry," he muttered, biting the tips of his fingers.

"Rule number five." The hat looked at Train. "If you think you are going to get lost while roaming the Castle, do not leave bread crumbs or any other crumbling food on the floor to find your way back."

Train turned away and mumbled something about a stupid hat and how Sven didn't have anymore maps.

"I heard that."

Train stuck out his tongue at the hat. The hat quivered.

"Ooooh," Charden said, looking at the hat still. "You made it angry. You better run."

"Pscht. What's a _hat_ going to do me?"

The hat jumped onto Train's head and sucked him up.

"Bye Train!" Creed said, and waved.

Charden put the hat back on his head and giggled. "So who wants to go pee on the curtains?"

------

**Fasie:** Hope you enjoyed that! Those were the rules of the Castle, the ones you have to follow, or else face the wrath of Creed and Charden's Hat.


	22. Sven in Wonderland P 4

**Cracker:** -singing- By the way, that flame we got... Actually I forced Fasie to ask Flame Rising to flame us, because... well, I don't know why. But I did! I guess he just used a different name.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Black Cat.

---

Chapter 22: Sven in Wonderland, Part 4

---

It had seemed like they were wandering this maze for hours. Train claimed to know how to get out, but he had just lied, which really annoyed Sven.

He sort if wished they had stayed with the weirdo, erm... whatever his name was.

"Go left!"

"I can't."

"Oh... go right, then!"

"I can't."

"Oh..."

Train was the least helpful person Sven had ever met. AND, he was forced to carry the fathead. He was very angry.

"Don't worry, Sven!" Train said. "I'm sure we'll be there soon!"

Sven growled. "You said that an hour ago."

"Actually, it was an hour and two minutes ago." Train corrected.

Growling again, Sven threw the younger boy off of him. "You know, your not helpful at all. Your just annoying! Why don't you just get away from me!? You can find your own way out of the maze! I don't need your worthless help getting out. I hope you get lost, and die in here!" he yelled, and walked away.

---

After another few hours, Sven finally found his way out. He wasn't happy when he got out. This castle that he was supposed to get to when he finally escaped the maze... was just a pink garden, with a big, BIG, pink chair at the end.

Sitting on the chair was an obviously gay man, wearing only pink clothing. His hair was white, though, which made Sven happy. Anything that wasn't pink made Sven happy. Except Train. He wore black, but he had still driven Sven nuts.

Thinking of Train, Sven realized there was a black thing sitting on the pink man's lap. He could hear it chattering, purring, and sniffling at the same time.

"-and then he told me he hoped I'd get lost and die..." Train said, still sniffling. He purred as Creed patted his head.

"He doesn't sound very nice. Should I feed him to Echidna?" Queen Creed asked, petting Train softly.

Train smiled. "Please?"

Sven's eye twitched. "I hope they aren't talking about me..." he said quietly.

"Ah! So, is that the man I'm feeding to Echidna?"

When Train nodded, Sven's eye twitched again. The cat boy hopped off of Creed's lap, allowing his queen to go and inspect the soon-to-be-food man.

"Oooh." Creed circled Sven, tugging at his dress every few steps. "I don't know, Train. This one might be too cute to send to Echidna..."

Train frowned. "So? He was still mean to me..."

"Since when have I cared about that?" Creed asked, tugging at Sven's dress again. "Definitely too cute. I'll just have to take you upstairs with me..."

He began to drag Sven away, half wondering why the other man didn't attempt to run.

"Creeeed! I wanna play upstairs, too!" Train said, following as he dragged Sven into his home.

Creed blinked, and dragged Sven up the stairs. "A threesome? I don't know... I was kind of hoping it would just be him..."

"Pleeeeease?" Train begged, giving Queen Creed the cutest look he possibly could.

Of course, Creed could not say no to that face. "Okay!"

And so, the three of them went up the stairs, and into the bedroom.

---

A few days later, while drinking tea, Sven realized something. He threw his cup at Train.

"YOU SAID SLEEPING WITH CREED WOULD GET ME OUT OF THIS PINK WORLD!!!"

Train smiled. "Sorry, but I didn't think you'd come if I told you he was just looking for a new lover..."

---

**A**nd so, Sven is stuck in that world forever and ever... and he is now forced to be nice to Train, and to be Queen Creed's lover. He's King Sven! Yaaay!

I'm thinking about writing a sequel... I was going to do 'Through the looking glass' since that IS the sequel to Alice in Wonderland, but I'd have to think of how it would work with Sven being stuck there and all...


	23. Frostito's Burritos

**Cracker:** I'm so absolutely bored, I really want to kick my cat, and I'm hungry.

**Disclaimer:** Yeah, you know the routine.

---

Chapter 23: Frostito's Burritos

---

"Hello! Welcome to Frostito's Burritos! How may I help you?"

Since everyone in the Magic Castle was dirt poor, and some of them (Train) wanted to be paid, Creed was forced to get a job. The best paying job that was easy, and didn't require someone to have any skills at all was at Frostito's Burritos.

"Erm... Creed you work here now?" Standing at the drive through window, Charden stared at Creed.

Creed nodded. "Yes." he smiled, then frowned. "I'm sorry sir, but I'm going to have to ask you to order inside the building. You need a vehicle to go through here."

Frowning as well, Charden sighed. "Fine..." but, he was not hungry enough to walk inside, so he sat on the sidewalk and waited until he was.

The next person to walk up to the window was Doctor. "Hi Creed!"

"Hi!" Creed said, then that same frown appeared on his face. "I'm sorry, but your going to have to go inside. We only allow people in vehicles to go through here."

"That's not fair." Doctor sighed, but didn't argue. He went to sit by Charden, for he wasn't very hungry, either.

Then Sven walked up. "Ew. Your working here? That's gross. Anyway, I'll hav-"

"Sir, you must go inside to order. You don't have a vehicle." Creed said, staring at Sven.

"Aw, come on. Do I gotta?" Sven whined.

"Yes."

He pouted as he walked away, and sat next to Doctor. He was too lazy to walk inside.

A huge fat guy walked up to the window. "MARO HUNGRY. MARO DEMAND FOOD! MARO TAK LOWD BEECUZ HE SMAT!"

Creed's eye twitched. "I'm sorry, you have to leave for two reasons. One, because you smell, and two, because you aren't in a vehicle."

"MARO ANGRY!" Maro walked away, and stood faaaaaaaaar away from Sven and the others, but he was still close enough to see them.

Xiao Li was next. "Why does it smell like old cheese over here?" he asked.

Creed shrugged. "No reason. Anyway, you have to go away, or something. I'm sick of repeating the message, so you can go ask those three." he said, and pointed to the three who sat, watching.

With a blink, Xiao did as he was told, and was very angry about the reason. He could have just disguised himself as a car!

It was getting late, and the last person of the day walked up to the window.

"Hello Train. What can I get you?" Creed said with a smile.

Train thought for a moment. "A slushie, please. Any flavour is fine."

Creed raised an eyebrow. "They are called Frostitos, actually, but okay. That'll be-"

"Wait, wait, wait!" Charden called, standing up. "Why are you going to serve him? He isn't in a vehicle!"

"Yeah!" Xiao Li agreed.

Sven nodded, and Doctor played Sudoku on his cell phone.

"MARO AGREE. MARO AGREE CUZ HE SMAT!!!!"

Creed looked at them. "Well, he is name IS Train... close enough."

---

**T**he moral of this story...

If your name is Train, you can walk up to the drive through window without being sent away.

By the way, I got the idea because of my cat, Frostie. I call her Frostito Burrito all the time.


	24. Wizard of Oz, Part 2

**Fasie: **Hope you have enjoyed the first part of WOO-BCS, Part One. Yeah, I'm lazy; I didn't want to type the whole title out. xP. Okay, here's Part Two, and Charden's overly awesomefied awesomeness with his ruby red stilettos.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Black Cat of The Wizard of Oz. I swear, the next time I have to write one of these, I'm going to throw a sharp object at Charden.

-----------------

Creed stared through the window a moment longer and began to cackle. He looked around suspiciously and pulled out a pointy, black hat and set it on his head. He turned from the window and swooshed his cape that magically appeared and ran into the darkness, followed by a floating broom and a black cat. (I know what you're thinking, but Train is still bleeding on Charden's floor.)

-------

"Uhnn…." Doctor put his hand to his head and looked around. Lying next to him was Train and Sven, each starting to wake up.

Sven opened his eyes, sat up, and shoved Train off of him. "Where are we?"

Upon hitting the ground, Train, looked angrily at Sven. "I was sleepin'!" he complained.

Doctor tapped Sven on the shoulder to tell him something, but immediately forgot what he was going to say and blurted out, "Sven, you're really hard."

Sven looked down at himself, confused.

"No, you dummy! You're tinny."

Sven looked down at himself again. "I thought it was called a woody," he muttered, suddenly self conscious.

Doctor smacked him in the back of the head. "Get serious, you idiot."

Sven nodded and squinted at him. "You're full of straw," he said, and poked at Doctor. He giggled.

Train meowed, then roared, and started to lick his hand and swipe it over his ears. Sven and Doctor stared at him.

"What? Is my wenis showin'?"

Sven and Doctor shook their heads and started to laugh.

"Whaaaaat?"

"You're furry," Sven said, pointing.

Train felt his chest, and his arms, and his legs, and then his mane. He began to cry. "I can't believe I'm a furry," he sobbed, his face buried in his paws.

Sven and Doctor exchanged confused looks.

The silence that followed Train's crying was interrupted by Charden, who they all had forgotten was even there.

"These shoes are FABULOUS!" Charden said happily, leaning back on his hands and ogling his pretty ruby red stilettos. He looked at everyone else. "Aren't they gorgeous?" His voice was high pitched and squeaky, his hair was in pigtails, and he was wearing a blue plaid dress. Seeing everyone's strange looks, he raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Sven frowned at him. "Doctor's a scarecrow, Charden."

"And Sven's a tin man," Doctor mumbled.

"And I'm a furry!" Train seemed overly happy at this now.

"But you…." Sven said.

"You didn't change a bit!" Doctor stared at him.

Charden giggled.

---

Creed cackled some more as he paced around his castle. He went to his crystal ball and looked in it. He smiled when he saw his guests lying on the ground. Then he frowned. How was he going to get revenge if they were miles from his castle? He slammed his fist down on the table and yelled.

"EVE!"

A little monkey-thing appeared in the doorway. "Yes, master?"

Creed adjusted his pointy black hat and began to talk "To get them here, I am going to have to have some reason for them to come. So I am going to make a cake, and I need you to go get the ingredients." Creed swooshed his black cape and a set of clothes appeared in his arms. He threw them at Eve.

"Now, disguise yourself as a friendly native. Then go down to the bottom of the mountain and steal that metal guy's heart, that straw man's brain, and that furry thing's courage." Creed took off his cape and put on an apron. Eve looked at him funny.

"What? I don't want to get dirty, do I? Now off with you!"

---

Doctor, Sven, Charden, and Train linked arms and began to skip down the pathway in the woods.

"Echidna, Xiao Li, and Creed, OH MY!" They all sang together.

Suddenly, everything went black and no one could see anything. They heard rustling in the bushes and everyone started screaming.

"MY HEART!"

"MY BRAIN!"

"MY SPLEEN!"

Charden didn't scream, but when the sun came back on and lit up the woods, he was found on the ground crying his eyes out. Doctor, Sven, and Train all gathered around him and asked what was wrong.

Charden stopped crying. His voice was full of hate now. "The bitch stole my shoes."

-----------------

Eve showed up in Creed's room and handed him a heart, a brain, and a spleen.

"Very good, very good…" Creed mumbled, then took a closer look at what she had brought him. "WHAT'S THIS? You idiot! I wanted the furry thing's courage, not his spleen!"

Eve put her hands on her hips. "How the heck was I supposed to steal his courage? It's not like I can just walk up and take it."

Creed sighed. "Very well. Now off with you."

Eve turned to leave.

"WAIT!"

"Yes, master?"

"What is on your feet?!" Creed got on the floor right next to Eve's shoes. He poked and prodded at them, then looked up at Eve. "Are these RUBY RED STILLETOS?"

"Yes…"

"Why in the world did you take those?" Creed got up off the ground and crosses his arms, trying terribly hard not to cry. "Now that stupid Charden will have to come and get them. How am I supposed to have a party with cake and exclude him if he's here?"

Eve frowned and turned to leave. She called over her shoulder "I shall return them, master."

"Drop a house on them while you're at it!" Creed called back, clapping his hands together excitedly.

"Oh! And don't forget the invitations to the party!"

-----------------

**Fasie:** Whew, thanks for reading! Ill have part three up soon! Three will probably be the end. Unless it isn't the end, then part 4 will be. xD.


	25. War of Love

**Cracker:** I got this idea when a friend and I were making fun of Fasie for liking Sven/Creed.

x33

Sorry, Fas. I like to make fun of you.

**Disclaimer:** Actually, I have a kitten named Train. He's brown, though... and he hates me.

---

Chapter 25: War of Love

---

He had been holding it in much too long. Sven blinked.

He couldn't wait any longer. It had to be done, NOW! Creed took a deep breath.

They both walked into the living room. They both walked up to Train.

Creed grabbed Train's right arm, Sven grabbed his left. They both spoke at the same time.

"I love you!"

Sven glared at Creed. "I love Train!"

Creed glared at Sven. "No! I love Train!"

"I love Train!"

"I love Train!"

"No, no, no! I love Train!"

"I LOVE HIM!"

"I LOVE TRAIN!"

"LET'S MAKE OUT!"

"OKAY!"

Train blinked, and watched as Sven and Creed kissed. He waited a few moments, then growled. He pulled Creed away from Sven.

"I love Creed!" he hissed.

Then, Xiao Li burst through the door. "You can't love Creed! I love Creed!"

Train growled again. "I love Creed!"

Creed shook his head. "You know, I love Train and Xiao Li!" he said.

"I love Train!" Sven hissed.

Doctor walked in, looking very angry. "I love Xiao Li!"

Creed glared. "I love Xiao Li!"

Sven blinked. "I love Doctor, too!"

"NOOOO! I LOVE DOCTOR!" Charden ran in, his stilettos making a very loud 'tap' as he stepped.

"I love Doctor!"

"No, I do! I love Doctor!"

Xiao Li cut in. "I love Charden!"

Train slapped Xiao Li. "Stop trying to steal my men! I love Creed and Charden!"

The two got into a slap fight, Charden and Sven argued, Creed and Doctor had a staring contest.

Everyone stopped as a new person walked in.

"MARO LUV SHIKI! MARO LUV SHIKI LAWTS!"

They all stared. The same thought entered all their minds. Maro... Shiki... Sex...

Train broke out in a fit of laughter.

Sven fainted.

Creed ran to the bathroom.

Xiao Li, who obviously lost the disturbing image, ran after Creed to make sure he was okay.

Doctor slit his wrists.

Charden couldn't handle the thought, and became a drug addict.

And a few years after this little love war happened, Maro and Shiki got married.

They now live in China, and have 39 kids, and Shiki is currently pregnant with their 40th.

---

Rinslet sat up in her bed, breathing deeply. That had to be the scariest dream she had ever had. As she heard a loud yell, a horrified look crossed her face.

"NO, I LOVE TRAIN!!!!"

---

**A**nd that... well, it ends the chapter, but it starts the love war... again.

x333


	26. I've got the biggest

**Crackerfang:** 'Nother chap. I should be working on re-writing Real Emotion right now, but I don't feel like it. I have no idea what to do...

**Disclaimer:** Ruby Li, Ruby Li... Oh, I don't own Black Cat.

---

Chapter ...: I've got the biggest...

---

Doctor, Charden, Sven, and Creed all sat in a room together, eating cake. Then Train walked into the room, and sat next to them.

After a moment of silence, he spoke up. "You know, it seems like everyone in this room as something really big, and I don't..."

Sven glanced at him. "What do you mean?"

"Well, like... Charden. He has the biggest top hat... and the biggest stilettos!"

Charden giggled.

"And Doctor... he has the biggest glasses." Train said.

Creed smiled. "I know what I have that's bigger than all of you!"

Sven slapped him. "Please, there are children in the room." he said, referring to himself.

"Yes, well, he is right, you know." Train said. "And Sven... you've got the biggest amount of... clothes. Seriously, its hard to sit in the closet when you throw all your dresses in there."

Doctor gave Sven a funny look. "So that's where all of my dresses have been going!"

Sven laughed. "Uuuh, yeah... anyway, what was the point of this conversation again?"

"You people all have something bigger than everyone else, and I don't!"

Creed shook his head. "That's not true. You've got the biggest hair. Look! Fluffy, its so fluffy and big!"

Train blinked as Charden added, "And your chest... its HUGE! You could totally be a woman."

"And you have the biggest collection of Tom Felton pictures." Sven said.

Doctor jumped up. "Your eyes! Look how big your eyes are! You should be in one of those creepy shojo anime slash manga.. things..."

Train sniffled, and looked away. "You guys are mean..."

"But its all true." Sven said. "Besides, you were the one who started this conversation."

"Whatever." Train walked away. He was going to get a haircut, throw away some of his Tom Felton pictures... as for the other two, he wasn't sure he could do much about those.

After he left, Charden looked at Creed. "So... Creed... are you really the biggest in that way?"

---

**Y**eah... I wasn't sure how to end this chapter.

x3


	27. Art Class

**Cracker: **My brain hurts.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Black Cat.

---

Chapter 27: Art Class

---

"Okay, people, listen up. You people are all dumb, and I think you should go to school." Doctor said, his hand in that weird position on his face.

Train raised his hand. "I already went to school! I was there for a year and a half!"

"So, you went through Kindergarden and part of First Grade?" Sven asked.

Train nodded.

Creed sniffed. "School is for losers. Losers learn."

"MARO NO NEED SKUL. MARO SMAT!"

"I want to go to school!" Charden said, smiling.

Doctor sighed. "Fine, well... you have to learn something. Math?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"Science?"

They shook their heads again.

"Art?"

"Art? I've always wanted to learn how to draw better stick figures!" Train said.

Creed sniffed again. "I'm already awesome at painting. I suppose I could just show off my skillzors."

"MARO LIEK DRAW. MARO WANT DRAW!"

"Okay..." Doctor blinked. "Art it is, then."

---

A few days later...

"Welcome to art class!" Doctor said, smiling.

His new students were all sitting on one side of a long table, all except Maro. Maro was forced to sit on the floor.

Train was not happy. On one side of him was Creed, and he was just staring at Train in a very... creepy way. On the other side of him was Sven, and he wasn't sure what it was of Sven's that was touching him, but he wasn't enjoying it.

Charden was bored. He tapped his new stilettos on the floor, and sighed.

Xiao Li pulled out multiple random paintbrushes, pencils, erasers, paints, glue, paper, and pretty much anything else you might need for an art class. He smiled, and stretched.

Maro happily played with his toy cars on the floor.

Doctor frowned at his students. "Okay, so... well... I'll start you off with a drawing project." He gave them each a large piece of paper. "Draw whatever you'd like, but make sure its more than just a stick person, okay?"

They all nodded, and got to work.

After a while, Doctor decided to look at what they were drawing.

Creed, as Doctor expected, was drawing an excellent picture of Train. He hadn't expected to find Creed drawing him naked, though. He figured he'd at least keep the clothes on, considering Train was sitting right next to him.

"Train! I told you, no stick figures!" he yelled.

Train looked at him with big, innocent eyes. "No, you said no stick people." he looked at his picture. "This is a stick dog."

Doctor shook his head, and looked at Sven. "Is that... food?"

"I'm hungry... I haven't eaten in four days..."

He ignored Sven as he ate his paper, and moved on to Charden.

"I drew stilettos!" Charden said, staring happily at his awful drawing.

Doctor blinked, and walked on. He expected Xiao Li's picture to be wonderful, considering how prepared he had looked, but he was quite surprised to see the younger man covering his paper and crying.

"You can't look at it! It's terrible! You'll only think badly of me! Don't look!" Xiao Li cried, ripping his paper apart.

He didn't bother to look at Maro's picture, because he knew that Maro would have forgotten while playing with his toy cars.

After he looked over everyone's pictures, Doctor stood infront of them all again. "You guys... all suck at drawing. Except Creed. Though his picture is a little disturbing."

Train smiled. "I like it!" then he glared at Sven, and muttered something Doctor couldn't hear.

"Whatever. This was a failure of a class. I'm sad I even made you take it. You can do what you want for the next half hour, I'm going to go get some cake." Doctor said, then left.

Creed continued his drawing, Charden got on the table and started singing, Xiao Li cried, and Maro played with his cars. As for Train and Sven...

"SVEN, GET YOUR PENIS OFF MY LEG!!"

---

**T**his was a completely stupid chapter... I had no ideas for it, so I pretty much just wrote anything.


	28. Tidbit Skits 4

**Fasie:** One of my favorite things in the magical castle is the tidbit skits. In this chapter of skits, I bring you something that will beat Cracker's four stories. I bring you…Two stories and many very strange, yet amusing, nursery rhymes featuring Black Cat! Ladies and Gents, give it up for TIDBIT SKITS PART 4!!!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Black Cat.

---------

Creed jumped up behind Sven and started shouting random facts.

"Sven did you know that Charden has two tongues?"

"Yes," Sven said, not looking up from his 'How to Read Colouring Books' book.

Creed frowned and then shouted again.

"Did you know that I have crabs?"

Sven looked up from his book and glared at Creed. What if he had crabs too?

Before he could yell at him, Creed help up a jar of crabs. They waved at Sven.

Uninterested again, Sven went back to his book, and Creed frowned again, but didn't give up.

"Did you know that the octopus is the only thing that can shoot out ink to confuse predators?"

"I can do it too, with Kandoo."

---

"I am SO hungry," Sven complained, his stomach growling.

"Me too."

Doctor nodded and Charden giggled at his grumbling tummy.

Train help up something on a stick after he took a bite out of it and smiled. "Yum. You guy s want some?"

Creed squinted at it and poked it. "What _is_ it?"

"A pickled corndog."

Everyone shuddered and Train took another bite. When he was finished, he pulled out a bowl and started chowing down. Everyone stared. Charden's hat shriveled up and fell to the floor.

Train looked up. "Don't you guys like pickled macaroni and cheese?" He offered the bowl to Sven, who took a bite, and then started eating the rest.

Creed leaned closer to Sven and poked at the food. "Ew. Can you even pickle _macaroni_?" He frowned.

Sven finished the macaroni and yelled at Creed. "Well you know what?! I can pickle your mom!"

---

There was an old Charden who lived in a shoe

All his kids were hungry and he didn't know what to do

Since he had no job, money wasn't steady

But then one day little Train died

"Kids! Dinner's ready!"

---

Old mother Train went out in the rain

To fetch poor Doctor a stone

And when he came in

He was kicked in the shin

And poor Charden sat alone

---

Hickory dickory dock

Creed ran up and touched Sven's cock

The clock struck one

They had some fun

Hickory dickory dock

---

A wise Doctor lived in an oak

The more he saw, the less he spoke

The less he spoke, the more he heard

Finally the base Sven reached was third

---

Black Cat, Black Cat, have you any wool?

Yes, Creed, Yes Creed, eight bags full

One for the Doctor, two for the Sven

And five for the guy who threatened me,

I don't want to be beat up again.

---

Creedy-Creedy, pudding and pie

Sexed Sven up and made him cry

When the boys came out to play

Creedy-Creedy stayed to play

---

Hey diddle, diddle

Black Cat and the fiddle

The cow, Sven, jumped over the moon

Charden's hat laughed to see such a sight

And the Diskence ran away with a spoon

---------

**Fasie: **Welp! That wraps it up, I hope you enjoyed it! As always, REVIEW!


	29. Her Death again

**Cracker:** I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate pie.

**Disclaimer:** D is for I hate this, I is for Dogs... wait, thats not right.

---

Chapter 29: Her death... again

---

It was 3:47 A.M., and Train had just decided to go to sleep because he ran out of M rated fanfiction to read. He yawned, and wandered into his closet, closing the door as he went in, and curled up on the floor to sleep.

---

"Laaaaaady! I'mma kill you dead!"

"Why?"

Creed was currently in Saya's apartment, poking holes in the wall and giggling. Saya was fiddling with her gun, and accidentally shot a hole through the window.

Creed thought a moment. "Erm...because..." he looked at the script. "Ah! Because of you, Train's eyes lost their wickedness!"

Saya stared at him for a moment, then growled. "That's it? That's your reason? That's a crappy reason! 'His eyes lost their wickedness...' REALLY? What kind of excuse is that!?" she yelled.

With a blink, Creed started "Bu-"

"NO! THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN POSSIBLY SAY TO MAKE THAT A GOOD REASON TO KILL SOMEBODY!"

"... He let me win a staring contest..."

There was a long pause. Then Saya frowned. "Wow... god, that is a really good reason... I should just..." she pointed her gun at her head, and shot.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!" Creed cried.

Then the door opened, and Train ran in. "Sorry I'm late for the part-" he stopped, and looked at dead Saya, and sobbing Creed. "What happened?" he asked.

Creed sobbed somemore. "I-I wanted to kill her!"

Train's eyes widened, then he threw himself on the floor and started crying as well. "Nuuuu! I wanted to kill her!"

After a few minutes, the two stood up and looked at eachother.

Creed smiled. "Staring contest?"

Train smiled too. "Heck yeah!"

---

**T**hat was probably the dumbest chapter I've ever written. But thats okay! Dumb chapters rooooock.


	30. The Lion King part 1

**Cracker:** Welllll... I decided against writing 'Through the Looking Glass', and I decided I'm going to make them do... The Lion King! That should be easier, because I've seen the movie a billion times.

**Disclaimer: **The only thing I own is that rug. Yeah, that one. The one on the floor. The one my cat just beat up...

---

Chapter 30: The Lion King (part 1)

---

People gathered around a big rock, wondering why the heck a big fat man had called them here. Standing ontop of the big rock was the big fat man and... some skinny lady was standing next to him.

Then, from behind them came a short little thing dragging a person much bigger than him towards the edge.

"NONONONONONONONONO!!!!!!!! I'M ASCARED OF HEIGHTS!"

Shiki shook his head, and continued dragging Train towards the edge. Train continued crying. From behind them, Sven shook his head, and moved closer. "Come now, Train... if you don't stand up there, you can't be king."

Train sniffled, and looked at him. He was about to say something, but Shiki pulled him away, and pushed him foward. He shook as he stared down at the other people.

Sven moved backwards and stood next to Sephiria again. He nudged her, and she held up a sign that read 'CHEER'. When no one cheered, she flipped it over so it read 'OR DIE!!!!'

Everyone started cheering immediately, for they all knew that Sephiria had killed before, and would do it again... only the last time she killed was because her assistant didn't put enough sugar in her coffee. She had a new assistant now.

Train shook, staring at the group. Then he turned around and ran off, still crying, running over Shiki, and shoving Sven and Sephiria on the ground. He hid in his nest.

Everyone stopped cheering, and shook their heads before leaving.

---

"CREED! YOUR IN TROUBLE, MISTER!"

Creed sighed, tapping his fork on the floor. There was nothing to eat, and he was too hungry to hear his name be yelled.

"Creed, did you hear me?" Eve said, staring. "King Sven is coming, and he's very angry with you."

Before he had time to say anything, Sven walked into his cave and growled. "Why didn't you come to the ceremony?"

"What ceremony?" Creed asked, blinking.

"The ceremony announcing to everyone that Train would be the next king!"

"Train is gonna be the next king?"

Sven shook his head. "Your just lucky I'm a nice person. I'll let you off with a warning, this time... if you pull something like that again, I'll give Sephiria permission to kill you." with that, he turned around and left.

Creed shivered at the thought of Sephiria. Oh how he hated her.

---

"Sven! Sven! Sven, wake up! Sven, Sven, Sven, Sven, Sven, Sven, Sven, Sv-ow!" Train turned around and glared at whoever threw that shoe at him. Then he went back to poking Sven. "Come oooon! You promised you'd show me around!"

Sven growled, and pushed Train off his rock/bed. "I'll show you later. Let me sleep."

Train glared for a moment, and got a thought in his head. He sniffled, and turned away, leaving. "Fine... I'll go explore by myself, and hope I don't die..."

"Kaybye." Sven said quickly, and Train walked away angrily.

He climbed down from Number Rock, as they called it, and started towards Creed's cave. He didn't realize he was headed there until he walked inside.

"Oh hello, Train. How are you?" Creed asked, flipping through channels on his television.

Train sat down next to Creed. "Creed... how come your lion suit is a different color?"

Creed shrugged. "'Cause I'm hawt."

"Oh..." Train blinked. "Creed, will you show me around? Sven refuses to take me to see everything."

"Sorry, Train..." Creed started, "but Sven banned me from leaving my cave for the next five days." he smirked, and turned off his television. "I can show you around my bedroom, though..."

"..." Train blushed. "Kay."

---

"Xiao Li! Xiao Li!" Train climbed back up on Number Rock, and hopped over to his friend. Xiao Li was playing poker with Sephiria.

"Train? What is it?" Xiao Li said, placing his cards on the floor.

"Xiao Li, you'll never guess what Creed told me during sex this morni-" he stopped, and looked at Sephiria. "I mean..."

"YOU HAD SEX WITH CREED!?"

Xiao Li giggled. "You act as if it isn't something those two do everyday."

"We didn't do it yesterday."

"Yeah you did, you told me."

"Really? I don't remember... Maybe it was the day before that I didn't."

"HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH HIM!?" Sephiria yelled.

Train blinked, and started counting in his head. "Erm... About... 178 times, I think."

Xiao Li dragged Train away before Sephiria could yell anymore.

"Anyway... you were going to tell me what Creed told you?"

"Oh yeah!" Train smiled, and whispered something to Xiao Li before they both ran off, giggling.

---

**I **considered writing the whole Lion King story in one chapter, but I decided against it. Weeee!


	31. The Lion King part 2

**Cracker:** I soooo luff the Lion King. I've been looking forward to writing this for awhile. Fas and I picked out all the characters before we started... I forgot to replace Nala when I first planned it, though, so I shoved Xiao Li in her place.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Black Cat or the Lion King

---

Chapter 31: The Lion King (part 2)

---

"So... Creed told you that this place was cool?"

"No, he told me this place sucked and that it was a waste of time to come here."

Xiao Li whacked Train in the head. "Then why are we here!?"

Train blinked. "He wanted me to pick up a package for him."

Xiao Li hit Train again. "Who or what are we getting this package from?"

"Creed said that there would be three people waiting here to give us a package." Train said.

"Yeah right." Xiao Li said, rolling his eyes. "What kind of people would live here?"

Train shrugged. He looked at the big, empty skull that say in front of them. "HEY!!!! COME GET YOUR FRESH MEAT!"

"What are you doing?" Xiao Li asked, staring.

"Creed said that the people with his package would only come out if you yelled that."

Sure enough, three men stepped out from behind the skull, all three smiling widely.

"Oooh, whats this, Doctor?"

"Well, Charden, I do believe this is the 'fun' the Creed prepared for us..."

Doctor and Charden smiled at eachother, then at Train and Xiao Li. In unison, they said, "Why do you think they are here, Maro?"

"MARO THINK THEY WANT SECKS."

Train blinked. "S-sex? If thats what you weirdos want, then take Xiao Li!"

"WHAT!? You can't just shove me on them! I'm not ready to lose my virginity!" Xiao Li yelled.

"Wait... your a virgin?"

"Yes... sadly."

Doctor smiled. "Actually, we want both of you, so neither of you really have a choice. MARO! Sit on them. CHARDEN! Get the handcuffs."

Before Train and Xiao could run, Maro sat on them, and Charden left to get the handcuffs. They swallowed, and hoped this would end quickly.

---

Sven had gotten a loooong, peaceful sleep. No one had bothered to try and wake him up since Train failed to that morning.

Someone was trying to wake him up now. He groaned, and turned over to yell at Train. "Train what are you- Hey... whats wrong?"

Train sniffled in response, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Sephiria walked in, and sat next to them. "What's he crying about?"

"I don't know. It's probably nothing." Sven said.

"N-nothing? NOTHING!? I'm not crying because 'nothing' happened to me! I got RAPED! You here me, raped!" Train yelled.

"Raped?" Sephiria snorted. "If it was with Creed, then I doubt it was rape. You made it seem like you enjoyed being with him earlier."

Train growled. "It wasn't with Creed, it was- CREED! He set this whole thing up!" he got up, and made his way out of the cave. "I'll murder that-"

---

"YOU PEOPLE ARE TOTAL IDIOTS!"

Doctor, Charden, and Maro all sat on the ground, looking at their feet. Creed was a very angry man in a lion suit.

"How could you rape Train? You know he's my lover! He's going to think I set him up! I said JENOS! Not Train, not Xiao Li, JENOS! I even showed you who he was!" Creed hissed. If his tail were real, it would be lashing.

"Sorry... but Jenos never came, and we were all looking forward to-"

"THAT'S NO EXCUSE! THAT'S IT! NO DINNER FOR YOU THREE. OUT OF MY CAVE, NOOOOW!" Creed yelled, and threw rocks at the group as they scrabbled out.

When they were gone, he sighed and sat down. Hopefully he'd get Train to understand.

---

"I don't believe you."

"Come on, Train! Why would I want them to rape you?"

Creed had convinced Train to go on a walk with him in the gorge, but when he tried to explain, Train only got mad and refused to listen.

"Because your a jerk! I should have never believed that you loved me..." Train said, sniffling.

Creed frowned. "I do love you! I'm being honest! What can I do to prove it to you?"

"Nothing. Just leave me alone."

"But..."

Train growled. "JUST GO!"

Creed blinked, and took a step back. "Fine..." he turned around and left, just as Train wanted...

Meanwhile...

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the sexiest hyena of them all?" Charden giggled, examining himself in the mirror attached to a rock.

Doctor shook his head. "If that mirror could talk, it wouldn't say 'Charden'."

"You're just jealous because my outfit is sexier than yours." Charden said.

"Yeah, right..."

"MARO JEALOUS!!"

Doctor snorted. "Shut up, Maro."

Maro got very angry. He stomped around, mumbling loudly about how angry he was. That was a bad thing, because it frightend all the weird people in costumes and they ran off, screaming.

"That can't be a good thing..." Charden said.

Back to Train...

Train sat on a rock, grumbling. He quit his grumbling when he heard a strange sound. He stood up, and looked towards the cliff.

His eyes widened as he saw a herd of people running downward.

---

**M**wahahahaha! Train is gonna be run over by people.


	32. Who am I? and Inventions

**Fasie: **Hola! Fasie here, bringing you yet another AWESOMELY FANTASICALLY SUPERLY DUPERLY GREAT CHAPTER! In this chapter, there will be a GAME! YEAH! Cracker and I came up with this in English while we had to pick an animal, say its prey, its predators, and its home, then have everyone guess. Here are our descriptions of the Black Cat cast for you to guess! The answers will be at the bottom.

PLUS! There will be a story tucked away in at the bottom also!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Black Cat.

-----------

1. I live in a castle. I eat meat, and veggies, and Train…Chronos are my predators and there are many humans I consider prey. Who am I?

2. I live in a house inside the castle. I like to eat Train. He's very delicious. Shoes are predators and stilettos are my prey. Who am I?

3. I live in a bathroom in a house in a castle. My predator is bug repellant and fly swatters. I like to eat bugs…And Train. Who am I?

4. I live in a castle. Train is my favorite food, that, and pancakes. My predators? Tax collectors…and Doctor. Who am I?

5. MARO LIV EN KASEL! MARO LUV EET HEWMENZ! MARO LLUV EAT TRANE BEST! AWL ES PRAY! MARO ES PREDDATUR! WHO ARE MARO?

6. I live in a castle. My predators are nurses and sickly children. I love to eat Train. My handy dandy rule book for every occasion doesn't allow me to eat anything else. Who am I?

7. Why in the world do you all put me as your favorite food? It's not fair! –insert very long crying moment-

---

Think you know who they are? Well, to find out, you have to read the story

--------------

Doctor grumbled and shoved his glasses up. They fell back down his nose. He shoved them back up. They fell, he shoved. Again and again. Doctor was getting mad. Why coulnd't his glasses just stay up? He growled and shoved his glasses up again and was about to break them in half when Train popped up.

"You know, Doc. There is a simple way to keep those glasses of your up."

"How? Tell me!"

"Weeeell…First, we'll need a balloon. Ah! Perfect timing!" As Creed skipped past, Train stole his balloon. Creed cried.

"How's a balloon going to help?"

Train shrugged. "I just wanted to see Creed cry." Train tied the balloon onto Doctor's glasses. "There," he said, taking a step back to admire his work. "All better. Your glasses won't fall down anymore."

Doctor giggled like Charden would have if he was in this story. Train joined him in the giggling. They joined arms and skipped off, leaving Creed crying on the ground.

Later that night…

"TRAIN! TRAIN! TRAIN! TRA-"

"What?!"

Creed put on a pair of over-sized glasses. "My glasses keep falling down. Do you have a way to fix them?"

"No."

-------------

Whoo! Its answer time!

1. Creed

2. Charden

3. Shiki

4. Sven

5. Maro (When Cracker showed this one to me, I couldn't figure it out for the life of me.)

6. Doctor

7. Train.

---------

**Fasie:** Hope you enjoyed this chapter! It was a weird one, but fun to write, just like all the others! The chap's in, and I'm out! -salutes-


	33. The most pointless chapter

**Cracker: **You see, I'm running out of ideas, and I can't think of whats going to happen next in the Lion King, so this chapter is going to be the characters flaming my lack of randomness.

**Disclaimer:** I own looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooots of grass.

---

Chapter 33: The most pointless chapter of them all...

---

Train sat in a circle with all his friends, staring at them with an angry look.

Sven blinked, and swallowed. "Uh, Train? You called us in here, and all you've done is stare at us for two hours. Was there a point to this meeting?"

"Oh, right. Yes, there is a point. I'm very, very angry, and I feel a strong need for milk, chocolate, and crappily made movies where people get chased by giant grasshoppers." Train said.

Charden giggled, but he had no idea what was going on.

"Why are you angry?" Creed asked.

Train growled. "Because, the lady writing this chapter is dumb! Seriously! She keeps writing SERIOUS things for a CRACK fanfic. How lame is that!? We should just tie her to a brick, and fling her to the moon."

Sven stood up and raised his hand. "SEND ME FIRST!!!!!"

Train continued. "Not only that, but her cat smells!"

Charden giggled again.

Creed blinked. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I don't know, but its true..." (Seriously, it is...)

Doctor sniffed. "I don't know. I haven't seen anything serious in this fic. What makes you say she's becoming serious?"

Thinking a moment, Train hummed. "Wellll... the last chapter for the Lion King she wrote was more serious than it should have been... and part three is turning out somewhat serious."

Creed and Charden both giggled. Creed spoke. "I don't care if the Lion King is serious. I totally get sex!"

"Of course, that's all you care about, Creed. But she wrote another chapter that she deleted because it was much too serious. And Creed died."

"So did I!" Charden said, smiling. He giggled.

"The only thing keeping this chapter from being somewhat serious is Charden's annoying giggling!" Train yelled.

Everyone in the room except Train giggled. Charden giggled more than the others.

Train shook his head and sighed. "This meeting was really pointless. I'm going to my closet now." He left the room, and soon regretted it.

Everyone left listened to what happened next. First there was the mumbling of "A-ah! H-hey, you can't be in here! You're supposed to be typing!" then something else was mumbled that they couldn't here. Then there was "Hey, w-what are you going to do with tha- aaaah!" and from then on it was just loud screams, yells, and the sound of Train being beaten with a stick.

AND GUESS WHAT HAPPENED NEXT!!!

Charden giggled.

---

**K**ekeke! I beat up Train for flaming me. x333

So, when I wrote this and sent it to Fasie, she was all like 'NONONONONO YOU CAN'T POST THIS, YOU SHOULDN'T PUT YOURSELF DOWN!' so I thought 'Myeh, whatever' and deleted it. As soon as I did that she was like 'ITS FUNNY, POST IT!' so I had to go bring this thing back.

I shall virtually glare at Fasie, and then hope you enjoyed this chapter. I enjoyed writing it.


	34. The Lion King part 3

**Cracker: **Cracker, Cracker, I really like Crackers. You know, I really need to put something thats actually important into these authors notes.

**Disclaimer:** Is there a point anymore?

---

Chapter 34: The Lion King (part 3)

---

"O-oh god!" Train screamed, and ran off. Sadly, the outfit he was wearing made him run slower than normal, and he was run over anyway.

---

"Hey... is there a stampede down there?" Eve pointed at the gorge, showing Sven the herd of running people.

Sven blinked. "Looks like it. Oh well. It's not my problem." he walked away, humming to himself. Then Creed jumped infront of him, glaring.

"You're not going to even see what's going on? What if I told you that Train is down there!?" Creed yelled.

"What!? Why is Train down there?"

Creed blinked. "I... don't know... but the reason he is down there has absolutely NOTHING to do with me." he said.

Eve and Sven stared at him for a moment, then looked at eachother, then nodded, then ran off. Creed followed slowly.

---

Sven stared blankly at the herd running. He didn't even know there was that many people in the world... he probably should have paid attention during P.E. Class. "Wait! You don't learns how many persons live in the castle in P.E..."

"PAY ATTENTION!" Eve squawked.

"Sorry..."

Eve shook her head. "Where's Train?" she looked over the edge before spotting a familiar bush of brown hair. "There he is!"

Sven looked over as well. "Where?" he asked, looking harder. Unfortunately, he was too close to the edge, and fell over. No one made an attempt to help him.

Creed giggled, and watched him fall. Eve didn't giggle, but she watched.

When Sven landed, the herd freaked out even more, yelling 'OH GOD HE'S GONNA EAT US!!!!' and started running in circles over, around, and on him. Then they all ran off for good.

Now Creed and Eve climbed down.

Train lifted his head, shaking dust from his hair. Luckily, he was not injured. But...

"MY LEEEEEEEG!!!!!"

Sephiria would not be a happy woman when she saw poor Sven and his poor broken leg.

Creed ignored Sven and his hurt hurtness, and rushed over to Train. "Trainy! Are you okay?" he asked, kneeling next to his lover.

"I am... but not for long." Train answered, frowning.

"Why not?"

He pointed to Sven. "Sephiria will kill me when she sees him..."

Creed blinked. "Why? It wasn't your fault. You didn't start the stampede."

"But she won't believe that. Who else would do it? No one else was in the gorge... What should I do!?" he asked, almost to tears.

"I don't know..." Creed said. He glanced at Sven, who was lying there in pain, and then at Eve, who was taking pictures of Sven. Then he looked at Train again. "Run."

"What?" Train asked in confusion.

"Run." Creed repeated. "If you don't want to get hurt, then run. Run as far away as you can."

Train sniffled. "B-But then I'll be seperated from you..."

Creed stood up, moving to go to Sven. "You didn't want me around earlier. It'd probably be better if you left." he said, and walked away. He mumbled something to Eve, and attempted to help Sven up.

After he and Eve did manage to get their ancient friend up, he glanced backwards. Train was no longer there.

---

"What is it?"

"I don't know."

"Is it dead?"

"Poke it."

"Okay."

Reaching out a hand, Leon poked the figure infront of him. "I think it's alive."

Rins smiled. "Goody! Uuuh... what should we do with it?"

Leon shrugged. "We could take it to our hideout... scare away the predators with a nice carpet."

"LET'S DO IT!"

The two carried away the creature, a.k.a. Train, giggling the whole time.

---

**P**art three shall... END! End. end... EnD. eNd. I'm done saying END now. end.


	35. stupidness AND SENEL BEAR

**CrAcKeR:**It's been awhile, eh? With holidays and laziness... and more laziness Fas and I just never got around to writing anything. We shall blame Chuck Norris. YAY CHUCK NORRIS. Wait...

Anyway, we were reading some of the chapters and decided to make a new one... that has no plot, so it'll probably just be a random bunch of nothing, like the rest of them. (Now you know our awesome, SECRET, writing style... OFF WITH YOUR HEADS!)

**Fasie:** Death had a near Chuck Norris experience...

**Disclaimer:** Peanut Butter I Own Nothing Time!

---

I forgot the Chapter Number: stupidness. and SENEL BEAR

---

"SVEN!"

Sven was wandering aimlessly around the castle, mostly because he was lost because he had amnesia. And tourettes. And cancer. (BREAST CANCER) And also was paraplegic. And he hadn't had breakfast, so he was hungry. (Most of that was a lie. But he DOES have breast cancer. WALK FOR HIM! or on him. His back hurts.)

ANYWAY. He turned around to see who was calling him. Of course, it was one of his least favorite people in the world. Fifth on the list of ten.

"SVEN! I founds a kitten!" Train hopped up to him, holding out a puffy ball of brown and white fur. "I named him Senel!"

The fat, pirate, cancer infested man blinked. "Great. We finally have a use for that litterbox."

The not-so-far, ex-assassin, idiot of a man blinked. Twice. "Ew, you're right. I don't want to work!" He threw the kitten behind him and walked off whistling.

Off course, the kitten was not happy...

---

**Later that night...**

**---**

**Fasie coughed up several organs... wait, thats not part of the story...**

**---**

Train rolled over in his bed, mumbling to himself. He felt something very soft and furry touch his face. "Hnnn, Sven... when did you're beard get so... fluffy?"

'Wait a minute...'

He opened his eyes, and sat up. "Sven shaved his beard... and he doesn't sleep here... very often."

His former kitten, Senel, was sitting before him with big, adorable eyes. "Mew."

"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Train couldn't help but pick up Senel, and hug him. "YOU'RE SO CUUUUUUUUUUTE!"

But Senel was still not a happy kitten. He hissed, clawing Train until he let go, and ran off. "...Ow."

---

**A few days later...**

---

Sven rolled over in his bed, mumbling to himself. He felt a very warm body next to him, and moved closer to grab hold of it. He did it a lot at night, he knew this because he often woke up holding onto Creed. But something was different this time. Creed didn't have a head this fluffy. He opened his eyes, slowly.

"TRAIN, GET OUT OF OUR BED!"

Train rolled off the bed, and looked at Sven. "I'm sorry. But that crazy kitten keeps trying to murder me."

Sven groaned. "God, Train, there is NO crazy kitten. The only kitten we have- or had, was the one you threw away. This is just your imagination. Besides, those deep, bleeding scratches, and limbs hanging off your body don't even look real."

"These scratches are real!" Train exclaimed. "And my limbs aren't hanging off my body... But I'm sure they will be if you keep making me sleep in that terrible closet with that evil kitten."

"THERE IS NO-"

"Actually there is a kitten. Train didn't throw away the kitten, he just threw it in general." Creed said, walking into the room from a bathroom that was never there before. In his arms was Senel. "And the kitten isn't evil. He is just mad, and doing my bidding."

Train blinked. "So...you're making him attack me?"

"Yes."

"Why!?" Train hissed, glaring at both Creed and the kitten. And he glared at Sven for a while, for eating his cupcake last Thursday.

Creed sniffed loudly, tears forming in his eyes. "Because you solved my Rubik's cube!" he pulled out a colorful cube and threw it at Train. "I wanted to solve it!"

"Rubik's cube? No, no, no. That was my math homework!"

---

**N**o, I have no idea why it ended the way it did, but it did end that way. Yay.

By the way, Senel is one of my barn cats. He isn't mean. He is a sweet little Senel Bear! And I luffs him.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this update. I don't know when the next one will be, but... SQUEE!


End file.
